I know it won’t be the same but it still breaks my heart. dam Facebook

When I see all my faithful married couple friends on Facebook and remember that used to be me.

When I see my friend’s post about how lucky they are to be with their spouse.. that used to be me.

When I see couple’s posting about anniversaries, birthdays, vacations, how happy they look.. I remember that used to be me.

A long time ago M used to be grateful and thankful I came into his life. While it makes him an asshole for what he did and mars my character little. It still makes me sad that I used to post how happy I was to be his, how I’m blessed to have him in my life, how smart M was

The pictures we took together and posted smiling happy all the while he was pursuing a relationship with another asshole of his kind.

Now if I could post whatever I wanted.. I barely post anymore..But if I could..

Well I suppose it’s just better left unsaid

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8 thoughts on “I know it won’t be the same but it still breaks my heart. dam Facebook

  1. I know the background story of my friends who post those things… I know the pain they had in past relationships, the day-to-day struggles they have now. I know the filter they use to put a happy face out to the FB world while silently cursing under their breath at something or other happening in their world… so, I can be happy for their “look at my perfect husband” posts, but know that’s just a moment in time in an otherwise “normal” life. Keep in mind, your friends posting about their happy marriages may not have had the life altering shakeup your’s has, but they have their problems, too.

    • I know Once I just remember what I felt in my heart, I know how I felt and I wanted to shout to the world of social media.
      How I love this man.. how amazing he is to me.. how special I feel..
      yup no dice now.. not sure there will ever be any dice ever

  2. And always remember Facebook is aka Fakebook!

    I know. It is a feeling of being robbed and raped. All we thought was so pivotal to who we were meant nothing. As easy to defile as dragging freshly washed sheets off the line and through the mud. It was only important to us. That is hard to take!

    I believe many people post “oh we’re so blessed and happy” to convince themselves most of all! I never did. I KNEW who we were, I didn’t need to advertise. My former BF -F (ha!) once said that to me, that we never needed to advertise our bond. She said it surrounded us, we effused happy, bonded and even fireworks – the good kind – when when we were out, she said you could see it and feel it, without PDAs etc. We just sparkled in each other’s company. He would gaze adoringly across a room at me, maybe catch my eye, maybe wink. And she knew I blossomed and bloomed in his love. I just completely adored that gorgeous, funny and kind man. I never post about him. But I never did before. Wish I had. But mostly wish I could!

  3. I could very easily be one of your friends posting about how happy she is, taking selfie’s with her husband on date nights, smiling brightly with her kids but underneath it all I’m just as sad and heartbroken as you. Just because they shine on the outside doesn’t mean that they are happy and content on the inside. I do intermingle it with little things I see on the way about how crap life can be but for the most part my FB postings are happy upbeat ones. If you are one of my FB friends you’d never believe I was Pablo’s Wife too xx

  4. Yep, FB is the public face of people, not a blog where we lay out our problems. It is a place to show our successes. Even the problems we post are those that show our depth and character. Infidelity does not fit. We too often worry that our husbands’ betrayal makes it look like we were not good enough somehow. There is no depth of character in that. This is usually not true, but we tend to feel that way, and we usually don’t share it except on anonymous blogs.

    For betrayed spouses, FB often brings grief to the forefront. It makes me remember that I do not have the love story that I once thought I did. I do not have the rock-solid relationship that I once thought I did – the kind that gave me a sense of place and belonging and loving security.

    FB is also one of the media places where my husband contacted his OW. Social media gave me extreme anxiety after Dday.

    It does get better. ~DJ

  5. Oh how I relate. It’s been a month since my fiancé walked out on me to be with the OW. I had to block her as she posted pictures and tagged him daily, still does. It shows in my feed for me, my family and friends to see. So I’ve unfollowed him as well.

    I know the pain. It’s depressing as hell. However I try to be happy for those I care about that are happy. I wouldn’t wish the hurt R bestowed on me to anyone (except his weasel faced OW and the man himself). People keep telling me it will get better and I believe them. Xo

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