As I order pizza for the millionth time in three months it seems. My children still make me smile, they are funny bright little ones and are so grateful for anything. Sometimes I forget what a joy they are and I’m making conscious efforts to smile with them. I was always a person where the marriage came first kids second. M was the other way around. Since the marriage is still there, but not a priority for me well it’s interesting to be here now. I have such a sense of protection for them. Such a purpose to be their Mom and help them because M sure is messed up. Not that he isn’t capable of handling our brood, he’s just emotionally unavailable at the moment.
Yes I know I wanted to bail out on these beauties and leave them here with M but I know that is bat-shit cray cray at my finest
I am going to go with M and another couple to a comedy show tomorrow I’m looking forward to it. I hope it isn’t lame. M is not doing well with the hate-inbetween-love scenario. Sometimes I forget he’s missing out too. I’m not really sympathetic to him though, I do forget that he’s in pain too. Which sometimes I feel like a cold witch for not caring.
Yup, it’s gotta be a change for him for almost 13 years I loved the guy beyond measure. Now there’s nothing stable here for him, and to top it off this is the most mad at him I’ve ever been.
I feel like the Eminem song where it starts off with two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside. Then it’s like “Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back” la dah da dah dum..
If you dont’ know it you are missing out but we’ve talked about music preferences before. M disagrees about my music choices he preferred to talk music with S. What a lame-O woman I had for a friend who targeted my husband’s one only interest besides me. Anyways here’s the song. I will be listening to it as I do my dishes.
Guess who’s back!!
Time to come back.. Rise up out of the ashes. Time to start fighting for me to come back..
Just like hostess.. I’ve got to focus on
“The Sweetest Comeback Ever” Hostess
I know, I know if you’ve been following me from day 1 lately I’ve been on the roller coaster, but I swear I’m a great fighter. M knows, Rizzo knows, S and Bob know I’m not one to lay down..
I feel I cannot lay down any longer. What does that mean? I think I haven’t worn my figurative boxing gloves in awhile. Promise I won’t use them on M ❤ ❤ Pinky swear 🙂
Oh and I’m working on a how-to wiki article on reacting to D-day and stuff. It is fun and I think I can do better than the ones already made 🙂 You guys can edit away at them when I’m done.