We went out with our new pastor and his wife. They are so much fun! I threw a fit on our way to the restaurant to meet them.
I was angry.
I know shocker.
But in my defense the friendship and loyalty red flags were a-BLARING!! Like who am I with? How am I supposed to rekindle anything with a person who doesn’t know what loyalty and friendship is?
We got out of the car and I calmed down a bit because I just don’t get why I’m with him. We talk, I tell him my thoughts. He says I’ve been holding something in he can tell. He helps me see that even though God is talking to me while I am strongly disagreeing with God, God does know what it best for me. I believe God created me after all and concede that as smart as I think I am. I am not God. I don’t know everything
I go in happy. Have a great meal and as we leave the restaurant I am pissed again. I am funny, others enjoy my company what the fuck is wrong with M. S has nothing compared to me what the fuck!
I realize now I do the comparison thing to S still and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.. EWWW… because there really is no comparison necessary
Not because she’s backstabbing,lying, bitch, but because it’s unnecessary. I know I’m fucking trying to grow up here, it seems to be working on some days. 🙂
S should be given no attention in my head. There is nothing kind, holy, or trustworthy about that broad where I am concerned.
But dumb-ass habits die hard just like them fucking on the side of a highway and everywhere else.. but I digress.. fucking hookers..
We end up going to a comedy show that sucked. Oh goodness it was bad. Then ended up talking and laughing.
We got encouragement that we were doing decent for what we are going through.
Decent date night I guess. We didn’t have one alone this week. I guess it’s better that way sometimes.