Friends: I call all of you friends because honestly some come read this blog everyday and to you who is just stopping by, or in welcome. Welcome friend
All of you in this blogosphere world and you who is stopping by are more of a friend to me now than the bitch who pretended to be my best friend like my sister and husband I built a life with.
Neither of you have broken my heart, lied multiple times to my face, smiled, bought me gifts all the while silently stabbing me in the back. Can you believe while we were going to marital counseling I call her to watch our kids? Yeah she’d been screwing him for what about 6 months into it. Dam it.. trying not to go down that rabbit hole.
What upset me most how did I get to the rabbit hole? Our Torn Asunder bible study. Yeah that one that is supposed to help us heal. We were doing pretty good today. I fried mushrooms from a Pinterest recipe came out nice. We were kissing smiling then that dam study. We were to evaluate our marriage and how our family of origin played a part in our marriage. Well it’s no shocker there but both of us come from unique family situations and we just kind of winged it together as we went.
As more X’s in the boxes pointed to how we ran our household, how we built our life, it maddened me to see it was him and I. He turned his back on all of that for what cheap tricks on the highway and sleeping in another man’s bed. (Sorry Bob *I hope you are doing well times like tonight where I wish we were still talking) But the hurt in my chest is so deep for 2+ years? Yes I am accepting it but doesn’t mean I have to like it.
So we press on and look to the future. But I just can’t sometimes. I just can’t see someone doing this and being okay with it. Then coming back from the darkside and all apologetic like. Something just doesn’t measure up.
Anyways I really thought I was going to get laid tonight, but fat chance of that happening.. I am so heartbroken how can someone turn there back on honesty and faithfulness. The book also got me to see how we valued our life together it was not that bad to do something like this to me. But turns out it doesn’t have to be, some are just assholes waiting for their turn.
Anyways here’s to choosing love