So M and I are getting along we are packing up things and every once in awhile we are getting it on and I think of S. S doing the same things I am doing to my husband.
I think I might be in denial because sometimes I think this isn’t happening and want to call S and tell her what a fucked up dream I had. So I told M what I see sometimes and asked if I am envisioning these things I would think he does too.
So do you? M looked puzzled it looked as if he were going to lie and he says sometimes. So I ask do you have positive thoughts about that?
I have no idea why I ask M these questions thinking he is so clever and funny on his feet he can come up with anything. But he says No, I don’t I look back on it and think how could I be so stupid.
I asked him if he was going to lie to me and he said no I was just thinking about how to answer the question.
Today I choose M. I get frustrated to say I hope I can choose him the rest of my life
Here’s to tomorrow and me not losing my shit on a 5 hour drive.