Ahh.. songs it’s amazing what they will do to me and many others.
Today as I was doing well. I went back there. I questioned his theories on how the hell he came to choose me and why didn’t he just leave me the fuck alone. Cheating with me completely unnecessary, just move the fuck on.. that’s my theory if you are in love with someone else move the fuck along I don’t need you. To be honest I never needed M in the beginning and just for my own personal fulfillment I still don’t need him.
But he is necessary. Anyways as I’m stuck in the mindset of how the hell did I get stuck with this reformed whore of a husband. This song plays in my head as I recognize what I typed yesterday and this morning.
I truly get stuck in the moment and I can’t get out of it. I love that song.
Talked with M on how to not be stuck in a moment..
I’m such a fool to worry like I do..
Looking forward to celebrating my Belbee’s birthday tomorrow it’s crazy that so many memories include Bob and S in her life. It’s hard not to let those memories die or live, but find some place in between the emotional roller-coaster of love and hate.
I miss being elated to be married to M this evening. I miss being proud that I’m associated with him. Tonight I feel like I am married to such a douche. Here’s to getting unstuck and celebrating a precious 4 yr old tomorrow.