Going where I shouldn’t

So a blogger I know posted about a OW story that sounds similar to mine, except they are not caught.

I wanted to see it. I searched for her posts.

I found it and I absolutely hate it.

Reading what I just read I cannot undo.

I hate S and M so much right now, that I’m angry at my kids.

I’m going outside with them and apologizing.

I hope I can get these thoughts out of my head.

Did my husband ever wish he was married to S?

Did my husband wish he ever had kids with her?

M said he thought they were soulmates at one time, yet he knew she was unsafe in terms of she wouldn’t protect him.

I hate mind-fuckery.. I especially hate when I’ve done it to myself.

Why did I think finding that story was a good idea? Finding all those people fucking around on their best friends?

Pray for me friends, because I am right as I close this laptop.




4 thoughts on “Going where I shouldn’t

    • Not at all you know in the Creativity book we both are reading he speaks about looking at problems head on and being in a state of being okay when a problem arises that we don’t know about called the hidden.

      It helps us actually. I’m not sure how knowing there are so many others in my position just going about their lives being silently backstabbed, or so many people being okay with dishonesty and cowardice.

      Somehow I’ll be the better for it. Just not sure how, but not thoughtless of you at all 🙂

  1. Oh dear friend so sorry to hear that. I question too sometimes reading things posted by an OW or a WS, but I feel we do it for the right reasons(understanding and making sense out of things). But it can backfire and cause horrible triggers. Maybe your not to currently at point where your head cannot process this without your heart overuling your head. Please don’t read anymore of these (at least for a while). You want to avoid back sliding if at all possible. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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