Tonight I danced with my husband in this 3 bedroom apartment.
I watched my husband dance with our two older girls separately to Frozen without words (I know there’s word for it I can’t think of it) while Squish crawled on the floor.
Then they got to watch M and I.
Then we all danced together and were smiling and giggling. The girls were getting frustrated with me for not turning right and I told them they’d have to be patient with me. My Mom never danced with me when I was a little girl.
It was sweet they both sad AWWW.. with a look of sympathy on their faces and then Emily said well at least you know how to dance with Dad because of your wedding dance. We reminded her we didn’t have a wedding that you don’t need one to get married.
Emily really could care less about that she is sticking to her story that we had a wedding, so we shuffle those pretties to bed.
I would have missed out on this moment watching our girls dance with their Dad if I stayed home with the kids like I planned. The girls would have missed out. The moment was special and sweet.
I think of many moments my kids won’t get if this marriage doesn’t work. I talked with M about my feelings few cuss words and I did not call him one name 🙂
That’s called progress ❤
I was blessed tonight to see what I would have missed out on. I’m glad I came here, I’m thankful for not being so stubborn and selfish to just pack up our kids and leave M alone. So much for my vision of ever riding into the sunset with happy faces and M in our rear view mirror.
Because it never seems to work out like that. My kids will fight for their Dad. Today M emailed me talking about his love for me. How his eyes are opened and how sad he is to think about us not being together.
I told him funny how we are on opposite sides now. I used to feel that way about him, maybe someday we will both feel that way at the same time.
If I did leave M I would miss out on moments like this. I wouldn’t be a part of them anymore, it might be some other psycho who FB’s my husband and betrays my kids. I forget that sometimes. That as much as I know I would rock being single or finding someone new, M might go all off the deep end again and settle back into his old ways of treating another woman like a tramp.
And I wouldn’t want that chick around my kiddos no way. But I wouldn’t get to choose that leaving M. Not to say that I’m staying for that specific reason but it is one of them.
I recently read this to get ready for homeschooling with my beautiful children who seem to teach me more than I teach them this article about Spirit-led homeschooling and I find the last bullet point something I want to start reminding myself more of. Because I’m more like a ROCK than anything
- Playdough not rocks. Your plans, your ideas, your life….let it be mold-able, changeable. Leave room, and be ready for the Spirit to whisper, to open doors for you and show you how to reach your children hearts.
This can surely be non-faith based as well, but you know where I stand 🙂 But I feel this is what I am going to have to be more now than ever in dealing with the progression of this family and my marriage to M
To be moldable, changeable, and while I fear those things, it might be just what I need to get me to a better place in my life completely..
Anyways here’t to progress, being moldable, and learning to be angry and hurt without sinning. It really wasn’t as hard as I thought, but I’m not stupid I’m sure it will get harder sooner than later.
I am so glad I didn’t miss out on this opportunity with the kids and M.