It’s almost month 3 and it feels unreal. It really feels like years. We’ve done a million ups and downs it seems, but still breathing under the same roof.
The kids seem to be doing better since we have been under the same roof for awhile now. I think they are still getting over my tirade of trying to leave on Sunday evening.
All the girls have had fevers, but the boy has been spared.
A few weeks we were truly separated but found to be under one roof again either due to sickness from the kids, M having nowhere else to go, or me going to get him.
But now we are at a stalemate because I’m feeling pretty strongly that this marriage is not going to survive. Yup he’s more patient, kind, and thoughtful. He took me to the mall for hours no sighing, took the kids while I shopped, it was like 3 hrs and I only found 1 dress.
Yeah not my best shopping moment, but he was a gem. He’s a great guy now, he’s attentive and kind, but I have no intention on being Mrs. M anymore. Nope not one bit. I wasted 13 years with him and I do not feel like wasting anymore.
But due to the circumstances of me not having a job and the kids super loving him and what to do with house, finances, and the like.
We have now chosen to be roommates. Funny that’s what he called me to S. I’m not offended by the label now. I don’t mind.
No sex, no sleeping in the same bed. Now that I write this it seems familiar like we’ve tried this before to no avail. but maybe we’ll be better at it the second time. Who knows. I do know I don’t feel I will regret walking out on him right now.
I actually remember when he packed up and left the first night I was so relieved and relaxed. I’m glad I put all of his belongings and pictures in his music room so when the time comes for him to move out..
Oh crap I’m getting ahead of myself. We are going to iron out the details of us being roommates under the same roof tomorrow and if we are going to separate when we get home again and where he is going to go because he doesn’t want to stay with his parents long.
But only time will tell what will happen to this family. I still do not want to be married to him and want out. I feel sorry for him though, that’s why I am who I am the destruction of his choices brought misery upon his kids, his wife, and others. I would hate to live with that the rest of my life and watch my spouse move on without me because of being so selfish.
Yup affairs are not worth it. Not at all. I even thought S was like a sister to me so I loved her and knew what kind of woman she was pre-adultery and even in all her awesomeness he still clings she was not worth this. I would have to agree.