So many were envious of M and I’s relationship. I see the look on people’s eyes now.
Yeah loving couple of 4 gorgeous, polite kids who are smiling and laughing. Who are visiting at a table eating breakfast and I see it.
I always saw it, how people wished they had what we had.
Because honestly I am awesome, and the kids pretty awesome most times, and Squish usually seals the deal if anyone has any doubts that our family doesn’t rock.
But here’s the thing our marriage is broken and M chose to do that.
Why would I give him this back, why would I let others think he’s such a great husband and father?
Most definitely for the kids. But is there any part for me, because I want no part in carrying on this family life and letting him look good ever.
Not that I did it on purpose it’s just what happened. So many wanted to be us, M helping out in youth with me and our whole family making the concerts.
Now, I really want to make sure no one looks at us and thinks we are happy. but I can’t seem to do it without disrupting the children.
They love laughing and smiling, and let’s face it so do I. I just wish it wasn’t with him. I wish the kids hated him as much as I do. They never will. I have to accept that.
I want him to take his stupid sorry love and bless another lying, cheating, tramp.
Yeah today is another bad day. He’s upset that the blogs don’t help, because I read Isle’s blog today and it just pissed me off. Not because he’s a cheater and felt bad about breaking up with Scarlet. He has his feelings and so does M.
What pisses me off most is where does M get off thinking he had a choice to love another woman and still keep his family. Because I would have preferred he left me, but that obviously wasn’t happening he loved to be seen as M family man, husband and Dad. And that M had a hard time separating from a lying, cheating, douche of a mother and wife.
Oh today is going to be rough, not looking at him and wanting to be physically or emotionally abusive.
So I will just take our kids swimming, read my Bible verses, and wait until this day ends and not speak to him hatefully.
It’s so hard I can’t hurt him so I want to hurt myself.
No one envies a cheating husband. No one envies a cheater I don’t care how in love they are.
No one ever say’s Oh I’m so jealous I wish I became a lying prick and fuck a lying cheat as well.
We don’t need reasons as to why cheater’s are not envied. I hope 🙂
He wants his marriage and family back.
Why am I married to such an asshole? Why am I still here? and I go back to boy crying.
I wonder if the kids would be less stressed if we separated again.. but alas what’t the use separating for 6 days and then going to a Marriage Restore conference and screw with the kid’s heads some more.
I want M to hurt so bad, but honestly I think he doesn’t feel anything for S anymore he has that fucking psychoticness about him where he just shuts things off. How he got himself into an affair and how he’s got over the affair just the same
He shuts it off. Which works for him, but not for me. He loses both ways. If he still missed S and loved her I wouldn’t care or feel a damn thing get lost loser . He doesn’t miss S and says he’s over her I’m still mad at him because he’s able to just move on and not care about her anymore.
The same way he bedded her. To just not care about me.
I married a terrible husband, and I so bad want him out of my life. He chose a deal-breaker for me.
What a liar I have for a husband, a fake, phony, fraud..
See progress no cuss words needed. I am coming back, but to who and to what am I becoming?