Oh this damn homework

Okay maybe I am a bit self-righteous that I loved him more each day I knew him for the past 2+ years and now I don’t want to do stuff with him.

Today’s question: What do you feel when you are serving with your spouse.

Well we haven’t served anyone together since Lie-Day started and serving with him? I have no desire.

Before I used to serve make dinners, gifts for others with such a happy heart because my family was behind this, I was so thankful to have a husband allow our resources to bless others. I was so thankful to be able to do just serve others through my marriage, our family, and just love on others! ❤

Now I don’t want to serve with him. Fuck that I’ll just do my own thing because serving with him brings me anger.. We served his affair partner as well together. Fuck him..

Then I talk with him about divorce and separation.

I like to know I have options here. M says evaluating those options don’t do anything for us.

And then I’m like I enjoy looking at all options that how I don’t end up in places you are. His affair only option, didn’t look at any other avenues. Getting out only chose one option lie. It’s ridiculous.

He wants us to do more stuff together. As if raising this family together isn’t enough.. Fuck him..

Things are not getting any better on this front Tempted I will probably write what I got from MR on a better day.

Homework seemed to plunge us both deeper into disconnecting.

He feels we are back where we were before MR. I feel the same, but more erring on the side of getting rid of him.

M keeps mentioning the work we are going to have to put in to even attempt to get back to where I was. For you see he was and has never been there.

Funny I feel like I did my time and what the fuck did I get? Oh but now that he’s on board well NotHate pull up your boot straps and get on board M’s lifestyle of reconciliation. Where we only move forward from here and hopefully your sadness and grief will dissipate into thin air..

If only the people who thought that would disappear into thin air..

I look forward to him going to work tomorrow where the kids and I are doing our own thing. I think he’s been home too long. I used to want him around all the time. Not so much anymore and this week proved it.

The kiddos and I are going to be going for walks and exercising together more. Squish hates the stroller so the walks will be short but better than nothing 🙂

Here’s to a calm day tomorrow M free for at least 8-10 hours. 🙂

 

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