M called me out of the blue today.
It was strange.
We haven’t talked in awhile and I didn’t mind. What I minded was cleaning up this forsaken mess I have created call the after-math of dishes and laundry day not happening yesterday.
I wasn’t excited, nor sad to get his call.
We talked about going to therapy together soon. Sept. 16th I think it will be. I’m not sure.
We are also going out of town next weekend and visiting his birth mother’s family he will also meet his other brother and sister.
He knows I still don’t want to be his wife, however I pointed out to him that I am making attempts to try.
And how I am SOOO Fucking envious and jealous of women who’s husband have cheated on them with no kids and just leave. Fucking leave. I dream that for me, but I told M it’s red flag about anything in my life when envy and jealousy are mentioned. So with that I must part from those emotions, because that isn’t my life.
I am a dreamer though and I day dream about it. Yup if that makes me a crappy Mom or person then I am.
Well off to laundry and dishes. I also must help the girls to tie their shoes. After laundry they will watch youtube videos.
I need to hurry up.. this day is too beautiful to waste doing chores I just like to sit and watch the rain and grey next to our big window in our home. I’ll in turn read some books and let my children play.
Here’s to me getting it done 🙂