20 year anniversary speech and Pinterest

I am no where near my 20th anniversary and I don’t know what to say or do for my blogger women who are facing this challenge.

Because I remember the days I used to plan my 20th, now I don’t even want to think about 14.

After reading the confidence code I wanted this blog not only to be an outlet but a source of hope. I know there are way nicer wives who never thought of leaving their husband with their kids, or never hated them. But just in case there were I might be of comfort to them.

So back to the book I wonder if I have taken the steps to effectively encourage my infidelity women blogger vets who have done nothing but encourage me. But do I have any right? Do I have any sense even because I tend to get pretty cray cray?

What have I done to help pave the way for new D-day’ers and help encourage the support of the vets that I love.

The confidence book was a real eye-opener about how confident women need to bring up others because if we don’t what use are we.

Even though this is our own path. All of us who are faced with infidelity have our own feelings, our own decisions to make. The book said something about how if we are too concerned with our own emotions to focus on a we statement. Like “Our team was able to succeed through this”.. or to that effect. Look at the we instead of me.

I maybe off because of the DayQuil that isn’t doing a dam thing, but I’m not talking about our marriages but the we in the team of marriages and families who face and are soon to face the sick disease of infidelity. Because I know my two blogger pals are in a sad place and they have every right to be.

But I wonder if I’m doing a disservice sending them hugs and kisses and praying everything will be alright. Instead of cheering them on and hoping they act like me if I was around them for their 20th. Because as stupid as I think their husband’s are, their husbands married talented, beautiful women and I can’t fault them there. Their husband’s want smiles and the love they took for granted and never once thought they would be that “guy”. The one everyone shakes their head at. The dishonest husband, the cheat.

Because I tell you what. Yup I know this sucks, because I guarantee no one walks down the aisle (at least I hope not) thinking I’m going to be a lying, cheating SOB, and break this person’s heart. But if I happened to be around these ladies in there houses and without children present I would be saying “Here we are and motherfuckers we are throwing down a celebration!! Happy 20th!!”

Okay maybe we can’t celebrate a completely faithful marriage, but maybe celebrate that the husbands picked bad-ass, good-looking, hard working women and there is no fault in that choice. There is no condemnation in that either, because hell it’s true. We can and are celebrating a 20th instead of giving up and kicking their asses to the curb at 17, 18, 19 or whenever the hell it would have happened, because they fucking deserved it. Okay condemnation there but no one would argue. Celebrating the 20 years of family that you both built even if him and Satan were pal-ing around for years, months, hours whatever. The family you both built was not destroyed, torn shred-by-shred where this isn’t an ounce of love and smile in your households, within your children, in your hearts. Because there is I have read about it 🙂 And anything you read on the internet is completely true.

Unless you’re a whore then all bets are off

So there’s my speech at your fictional 20th anniversary party Kelly and PW. Celebrate on if not for your marriage for the one’s reading about it who will reach their 20th and wonder how can I smile today. For your children if they ever have to deal with this and you haven’t buried their spouse and you will be able to help them celebrate and smile.

And please don’t blog hate the fuck out of me for being out of line if I am. My intentions are meant with every goodness in my heart and I am no way saying to “Get over it” or your emotions are not valid in any way just to be clear. I’m not a writer and I don’t convey things well.

Anyways next topic up is Pinterest they changed the search engine awhile back and I’m totally digging the infidelity in marriage search.

That is all for right now.. I sure wish my head would stop pounding and my nose would stop dripping 😦


4 thoughts on “20 year anniversary speech and Pinterest

  1. Thank you Not Hate… have been having a really hard day today, wondering why the fuck I’m still here and wondering if what we have now will ever be enough. Who knows? Not me 🙂

  2. Dear Not Hate, what a wonderful post, very well written, I think this was your best ever! I’m sure PW & Kelly appreciate your sentiments! I know your posts have helped me & you seem like a wonderful young woman, maybe I’m lucky in that this happened much later in our marriage, so I don’t have as long to deal with it! Anyway PW & Kelly, hard day coming up, hugs to you both, I’ll be thinking of both of you! XO Joan

    • That is perfect, Kelly. It’s a start over. The previous “time served,” (jokees!!!!) doesn’t count. There’s no celebration of something that didn’t mean enough. Mark the day the best way you can – you too PW XXX

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