Another Mom knows and I don’t care. Once again I was talking about my anger and someone thought we were going through the same thing.
Nope. Shocked her. but she was kind and we prayed together. She was going through a hard time with her husband, but not like me.
It never gets old the shock in people’s face because they know M’s AP, hell M’s AP and I have blessed and served others together.
I’m angry today. I told M.
This doesn’t seem to get any easier. I tell him I’m not the wife for him seriously because I read this Pinterest article and the wife didn’t even get cray, cray..
Also this video here got to me especially where the husband told the wife I forgive you, and delight to offer you Mercy..
Wow.. I know deep down in my heart of hearts.. in my soul that I scream.. I don’t!!not me!!.. I’m not best friends with M.. I’m not we never were.. I tried, I invited and the asshole that I’m married to refused, sighed, and didn’t care. He thought he was right and knew what he was doing right into his AP’s arms he landed.
He’s got to go.. yeah he’s got to go..
Then I get tired after my anger shpeel and I’m tired.. tired of being angry.. tired of causing my kids grief because I am not happy.. I am not joyful because I want to say M’s stupidness saps me of my joy..
But I guess I choose that. I choose to be angry, to feel jilted, to feel dare I say it?? Bitter..
I just don’t understand why he didn’t leave me, just go be with his whore in happy delusion land and leave me the fuck alone..
This limbo just irritates me.
Because sometimes I feel I can give him mercy, grace, and then I take back that gift as quick as I gave it and I want out.
Out of this marriage, out of it all..
I wonder if I ever loved him enough. Enough to love him unconditionally and pick him up with his dumb ideas, his ungratefulness and his stupid infidelity. To be there for him through this. Like the article said she was best friends with her husband and best friends hurt each other, best friends make up. So she made up with her best friend..
I call bullshit for my marriage. My asshole husband slept with mine, well she was never my best friend to begin with. She’s a whore in the making and so was my husband.
I’m completely down tonight… maybe because Rizzo will be out of town until next Friday. I didn’t know that until today.. Maybe my MIL is right I just need to leave. Leave my kids and everything behind for awhile and get the fuck out of here..
I’m tired of being angry about this. It’s stupid anyway. This covenant, this marriage is dumb. Funny how M clings to it now.. mother fucker..