Why the password protected?

I know I’m like an open book. I have been all my life.

I refused to change that because of M, his AP, or anyone else.

But the password protected was at first for M because he thinks he doesn’t want to read but inevitably he always does.

Now, it’s because we’ve come to a compromise I write, he reads and then WE make the decision whether to password protect or not.

If I am going to try and do this, rekindle this fire, because I know now who I only want to touch me physically, I would be fooling myself after 6 months to say I still hate him with the same fury I did when I first found out.

M wants me to ditch the blog, I won’t.. I just won’t right now give it up.

So there’s the compromise and the reason. So if you have been reading and want the password do not hesitate to email me.

I’m pretty grumpy today.. Not sure what will make it better.. but I will be grilling burgers, homemade fries, grilled corn, and an amazing salad with some dream dessert…

Yeah here’s to good food and a peaceful family Saturday night.

Love you all.



19 thoughts on “Why the password protected?

  1. Please send me the password, your writings are helping me with the nightmare that has become our reality..just knowing I’m not alone, that somebody out there can relate to this pain, this horror we now live. Please 😦

  2. Oh wow, I would like the password if you should continue this. I’m glad to see that you have backed off your hate ,even if it’s just a smidge. Don’t stop writing your blog..you have give up enough for M and he should support you.

      • Yes, and I really hope you can take good care of yourself in other ways too: lots of sleep and healthy food, exercise, time with friends, maybe a weekend away sometime. And therapy, just for yourself. I wish I had done more of that, but I was always too afraid to go away (for the obvious reasons) and too worried about him to take good care of myself. Good luck with everything –

      • Thank you.. I exercised once last week but I plan to do it again more this week. Working on the eating and therapy for me is a must 🙂 Thank you for the encouragement. It’s hard to get away though I never want to come back in the house when I am gone.

  3. Hi NH,I’ve recently come across your blog and admire your spunk and your unabashed emotionality. Please don’t let your husband shut your creative outlet down. I agree with those who have said that your blog is not only therapeutic for you but it helps others, us as well. Ultimately, you must do what is best for you.

    I’m a little over 2 years post discovery and have read many blogs but am always struck how many betrayers care more for themselves and their discomforts or appearances, than what the betrayed needs. Moreover, I’m concerned how betrayeds willingly acquiesce to the betrayers unreasonable demands because they are more vested in the relationship than the cheat. But understand that many betrayers either do not want to deal with the just consequences of their selfish and destructive actions, which is why so many have the nerve to impose conditions (conditions that make it easier for them so they don’t have to be discomforted by your trauma). Or, they really don’t understand and grasp the magnitude of the hurt they have inflicted. And some just don’t care. The only way to really tell is by their actions and behavior and willingness to acknowledge what they’ve done without excuses or blameshifting and by unflinchingly taking the just consequences and in turn assuaging your pain and grief everyday in a myriad of ways.
    Their true character is again revealed by how they conduct themselves in the aftermath of the wreckage they created.
    Please know that you and we all deserve so much better and don’t settle for less than.
    Wishing you the best.

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