That I am happy right now and at peace.
I have been bombarded by the memories of my past birthday’s being married and while they were not all joy filled none compare to this one.
I am trying to see what my flesh wants and what I need to do.
My flesh wants to divorce M and stay far from him.. why because the man I thought I married is nothing compared to the shell that walks and cleans my house now..
My flesh wants to raise my kids by myself
My flesh wants to cry out for justice go up to HER house and find her.. Scream and yell at M make him even more miserable than he looks..
But I know what I need to do and I can’t do it alone.
I have met wonderful friends on here and have them in my town.
I have the Holy Spirit
I can find joy now.. it won’t be in the past..
I do miss my husband, I miss my life today more than ever something bad.. but I am going to go get dressed and get my hair done. I am going to buy new dresses and new perfume.
I am going to smile, laugh, and listen to music
One day I hope this nightmare will not follow me of how I used to be so in love, what I used to have..