I should have planned better

I should have prayed for peace today and when the devil and my own flesh strike that I will be prepared with at least a piece of pie in a closet..

Fucking anything.

Anything would have been better than almost flipping out in Target.

Today hosting a meal with guest was great. M and I tag teamed everything, cleaning, cutting, I did most of the cooking last night so today was pretty easy warming everything up.

After dinner the guests were going to the Black Thursday deals so we ate at 3:30pm and so entertaining was a breeze.

M and I were not stressed at all and thought going to check out the deals would be fun.

We parked at the very last parking spots at Wal-Mart and proceeded in spent some cash had a good time and went to Target.

It was nice just shopping and spending time.

Then I found two picture frames I wanted. They were 50% off and a movie.

Those picture frames almost made me cave because if I’m starting to decorate it means I’m staying or committing.. or something..

and then one of my gals from church who I didn’t even know knew Bob asked about him to M while we were waiting in line.. say what?! Seriously.. Is this really happening?

Then the talks ensue and everyone who deals with infidelity knows about the talks and if you don’t let me fill in..

Talks about affair, what the fuck is wrong with either of you, what are either of you doing? nothing ever gets resolved because really what can and then off to separate corners rinse, lather, repeat..

So there’s that.

I should have planned better, we should have planned better for me to flip the fuck out at some point today.

We posted pics of us going into WalMart and we were having a good time. Although I think the photos are misleading in the fact that M and I are striving for some sort of marital bliss.

Because I don’t think it will ever happen, he does.

Oh dear readers one day I want to be someone’s bride again. Where a man will look at me and I will look at him with trust and adoration.

Where sex will be amazing and I am so thankful that God gave me this man that I’m married to that it takes my breath away..

One day..


2 thoughts on “I should have planned better

  1. Amen!!
    You are so completely right, I feel like I could’ve wrote that myself.
    Thank you for writing your blog. it helps knowing I am not alone in this horrific nightmare,I’ve been living in for the past year.

  2. I asked myself the same thing when I replaced the kitchen stools…. does this mean I am committed to staying? I mean why else would I go to the trouble and expense of improving the house… Look at all this stupid shit we now think about. Sigh. SWxo

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