Wow.. still can’t believe I’ve said so much of the same things 2 years ago

Except I was talking with Faker about my pain. Oh I’m sure she felt super bad about it all after she’d been having sex with him already..

Good grief..

April 28, 2012

So the Movie Letters to God

Well.. its been what 2 weeks maybe and I’m thinking things have gotten worse.. Our friendship is torn and I just make myself want to hug him or kiss him, or even communicate with him.. just tired, exhausted with all of this, if we were ever good before, how God is going to make this better, how I wanted a husband to love me and keep me and keep his hands off of someone else.. and well.. I remember telling him I would stay with him if he cheated.. and I broke that promise..

We are just working on our house to compensate for our lack of relationship.. we are so messed up but its better than destroying the place..

I lie, I stay away, I cannot speak of this with any of my friends, except Faker who well is going through her own pain.. I am tired of going in circles.. if my marriage fails, or we stay together.. not sure which one would be better right now.. just miss the old us and that is trying to catch water with your hand.. left with residue

nothing else

Miss my life.. the life where my husband was a protector, was a friend.. not some douchebag..

I thought my marriage would be different..

It isn’t.


5 thoughts on “Wow.. still can’t believe I’ve said so much of the same things 2 years ago

  1. Just so you know, my husbands betrayal wasn’t in my onion anywhere near as bad as your husbands betrayal was (3 week affair with someone I never even. heard of, but from my town and 10 years younger, but less attractive, in my honest opinion) and after 6 months, even I was still flipping out. I got on welbutrin on month 5 after dday and it made me worse (I atRted having bad anxiety and acting out) and then I got off if it on month 7, and it wasn’t until then that I started seeing the light. Everybody is different and has a different story. I would say I am 85% better now, 18months after dday. That’s great in my opinion. Keep going it will slowly fade away… And yes I mean slowly!

  2. It’s amazing, isn’t it? We all thought our marriages were different, that they were better than those of everyone we knew, that they would NEVER be touched by the poisonous tip of infidelity. Affairs? No way! That could never happen to us! How fucking delusional. It makes your question your own judgement….on EVERYTHING! SWxo

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