Except I was talking with Faker about my pain. Oh I’m sure she felt super bad about it all after she’d been having sex with him already..
April 28, 2012
Well.. its been what 2 weeks maybe and I’m thinking things have gotten worse.. Our friendship is torn and I just make myself want to hug him or kiss him, or even communicate with him.. just tired, exhausted with all of this, if we were ever good before, how God is going to make this better, how I wanted a husband to love me and keep me and keep his hands off of someone else.. and well.. I remember telling him I would stay with him if he cheated.. and I broke that promise..
We are just working on our house to compensate for our lack of relationship.. we are so messed up but its better than destroying the place..
I lie, I stay away, I cannot speak of this with any of my friends, except Faker who well is going through her own pain.. I am tired of going in circles.. if my marriage fails, or we stay together.. not sure which one would be better right now.. just miss the old us and that is trying to catch water with your hand.. left with residue
Miss my life.. the life where my husband was a protector, was a friend.. not some douchebag..
I thought my marriage would be different..