The end is near

I read a blog today and I am so thankful I had..

It was about trusting again.

It was about being lied to, manipulated again.

I can’t

I can’t wait until I get back on my feet financially to keep the peace with him.

I want him out of my life romantically.

I want him out of our home.

The kids will have to know I can’t be with their Dad anymore.

The kids will be heartbroken, but they will know divorce isn’t the end of the line for a beautiful life.

I suppose I could say M chose this for us.

But I choose it for myself.

I won’t believe in his stupideness again.. I just won’t I hope he does change.. I hope his life is all that he wanted in an apartment.

I want so much to be final right now.. but it seems as an adult I have to wait.. things have to happen holidays have to happen.

Time to spread my wings and fly..

Timeline at least

M and NH 2001-2015

what a sad run.. but here’s to a bright future right?


10 thoughts on “The end is near

  1. I’m glad you feel like you’ve settled on a decision. These things take time and you have all the time you want. So see if you still feel the same way after the holidays, but wishing you all the best. He doesn’t deserve you, and you get to choose. Of course cheaters hate when you don’t choose them, but don’t feel you have to do one thing or the other.

  2. Remember this: No-one is demanding you make a decision. I know you feel you HAVE to decide something, but you don’t. You sound like you’re having a horrific day where you feel it’s all over. And the madness of the holiday season seems to add to our stress. If ending the marriage is what feels right, then do it. But if you’re not sure, sit on the fence for as long as you need to. You don’t need to make a decision before you’re ready. SWxo

  3. I once explained my divorce as my ‘baggage’. A man told me it wasn’t, it was my former husbands who had the affair. If it is the end, give yourself time to mourn it and eventually celebrate yourself in it. I am pretty sure you’ve lived and loved it honestly for better or worse & I think it’s something to be really proud off … Take all those qualities on into the next stage of your life, because they are precious and eventually I think you’ll find who is meant to hold your heart and look after it when you’re really… I hope that makes some sort of sense. xx

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