It happened seemed he was impressed I’d gone this long wanting to have sex with him.
I don’t think hysterical bonding happened too long, but I’ve always wanted M from the moment I saw him. Well now it just isn’t the case. I mean I love the guy don’t get me wrong, it’s just different.
How? Well I don’t trust the man I live with which puts me in a position of uneasiness.
I don’t want to go to a marriage conference, restore, bible study about marriage or anything related with him.
Because I can’t let go of the past? That I see him always as a cheating loser?
No. because I’ve been fighting for my marriage for awhile and I could give two fucks..
I’m not even saying these past 8 months but for years.
I wanted to do couple’s studies, to get away with him, learn to improve our marriage.
Yup.. I’m not fighting anymore
At first it was because I was fucking angry, then I didn’t care, now I just don’t love him like I used to.
The sex part is a kicker because once you lose sexual chemistry with someone I don’ think I can make it back. But we’ll see.
I suggested the fist-bump, handshake, and told M how do we navigate this now?
While we shook hands M pulled we close.
I was flattered and felt awkward at the same time.
Why am I flattered? Why do I seem to feel the need to be taken care of like some delicate flower?
Why does my mind deceive me?