I went out with Rizzo and a few other gals for a birthday party. The gathering was fun and I was laughed at, with, and we all had a blast.
But there is a piece missing. Seems there always is a piece missing when M and I are barely even friends.
I’m not sure how to find peace with him anymore.
I’m not sure I want to.
Another blogger asked if I want to be happy with M or see myself happy in this marriage again?
I’m not sure.. I really don’t care about this marriage anymore.. just a waste of time to me..
But my kids are not.. we built this family on alot of things and it’s sad that their Mom no longer sees their father as a kind husband, or even want him to be hers at all.
But I walk this walk not as a martyr by any means but as someone who isn’t sure what her path is.. but would rather not walk away from this marriage at the moment.
Kind of like the wedding dress for a bride. I suppose you just know when it’s time to break free.
I want to find the missing piece, whatever that maybe in my life right now..
Maybe the missing piece isn’t really a piece but I feel like a fraud amongst women who love their husbands. Like I shouldn’t be married feeling this way or I don’t belong in this crowd anymore..
It’s a strange place to be..