Stay in Your Lane NH stay in your fucking LANE..

So today I wake up bitter.. and I look at him and paint him with one stroke. Asshole, Backstabber, One who loves out of convenience..

Yeah what to do..

I need to stay in my own fucking lane..

Not too long ago I saw that KB and her family went on a camping trip with a couple we know who moved. Oh hell that bitch is moving on to others and I wanted to tell the wife stay away that bitch will backstab you in a heart beat.. I mean if she doesn’t sleep with your husband, well chances are you mean jack shit to her and well.. we all know what happens with those kind of sketchy people around..

And then I remembered stay in your own lane NH..

I am not the justice police trying to help others out. I mean for all I know KB isn’t a tramp anymore. I doubt it, just like I believe mine isn’t a fucking nightmare anymore..

But I wonder if I just tell myself that to stay here to be content with the shitty hand of cards that I have in my marriage.

that he isn’t a nightmare anymore.. but he still is to me more times than not..

I should be able to see clearly right and be like fuck this peace out..

But being backstabbed with him has made me question clarity in how I view shady ass bitches and living with one of them.

Then I think I am playing victim..

Do not play victim..

Ugh then I just am tired and nothing is accomplished..

I am a bowl full of crazy today..

But I do know I need to stay in my lane.

Even caring about him is not a necessity.. I can prefer him, but also wish I didn’t have to look at him today.

Which because he is so emotionally stupid he will think I want this marriage to work..

Stupid boy..

But by staying in my own lane I mean to take care of me, look at the log in my own eye, and find forgiveness for myself, love my babies.

Teach them things that ever if I die before M, I know I will have trained them in the way a child should go and I can stand firm when I meet my Creator that I tried to teach them. I did the best I could and taught them how not to hate, how to forgive themselves before others, how to love..

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3 thoughts on “Stay in Your Lane NH stay in your fucking LANE..

  1. I’m with you. My current default is to look out for myself – the version of Life that is me and our children, living and thriving on our own, with them spending every Thurs/Fri (his days off) with their father. I clean and organize and simplify to make things simple for when it’s just us. I pay bills and save in different places, to make dividing easier. I’m perfecting each of our credit scores, manipulating them to the highest possible maintenance, to make it easy to rent apartments and buy homes (or qualify for building loans on land that is MINE and not divisible in a divorce.)

    I don’t know if THIS guy is for real. But I’m going to make damn sure that if I ever find out he isn’t really this person? I’ll be gone – beautifully. Each of us – with motivators for him to agree to fair division without issue – set up beautifully, if/when that time comes. I have enough to divorce easily, now. I’ve told him that I’m doing all this… almost trying to goad him into making a move, if he’s AT ALL perturbed that I’m setting ME up, first. The moment he changes his direct deposit? He’s not sleeping in this house and he’ll continue to have no access to ANYthing I’ve saved. I will file the next day. He knows this. I don’t care if it pisses him off. I’m a little annoyed that it truly seems to NOT bother him, to be honest. “DAMN IT – he’s OKAY with it?!”

    It’s all I can count on now. Me, being the badass I used to be. So on top of things that my enemies had nothing bad to say about me… because I was painstakingly fair. I keep everything we have and all I’ve saved. He gets to keep ALL of his income, if he’s out, until the first temporary order. That’s fucking FAIR, to say the least. A week’s pay ($1500) with no savings for the next 7 days and sleeping on a friend’s couch? SO much more than what he deserves. How about “Your wife dealt with FAR, FAR worse than that for YEARS, during your first affair? Having $250/week to support 4 people?” She made that work. For YOU. For your CHILDREN. And you showed your gratitude by fucking around with some morbidly-morbid obese, trucker-looking SKANK while bitching at her that she was depressed and your favorite shirt wasn’t clean and that you were having soup and bread/butter for dinner AGAIN? If I could deliver him back in the dire straits I met him in, I would. A crummy studio apt. with 5 other, immature assholes. A few 5th-hand sleeping bags, a blow-up mattress in the living room, pizza and beer boxes stacked in the corners, a bathroom filled with the smelled of stale BO and urine and Formula 409 – the bathroom and kitchen floored with astroturf – and no vehicle, no savings, no self-respect, and a far-away family who HATES you. OH! And one baby-mama showing up to bitch you out and ANOTHER baby-mama (ugly as sin itself) who’s pregnant and clamoring to move into her parents’ house. While having to dodge the boss, at your workplace, because you’ve slept with his wife and having TWO MORE girls you’ve led on visit. Such a complicated life!

    Surely, you thought of where you’d be –

    WITHOUT that bitch of a beautiful, strong wife who simplified and beautified your life to the extent that you have a great job, a beautiful, updated home (all of which your wife did for the cost of materials) in the nicest suburb in the area, three good-looking and smart and kind children, no debts, great savings, two NEW vehicles, no baby mamas and no child support payments (eradicated by accident because the Bitch Wife loved your illegitimate children too much for baby mamas to handle), family who loves you again, amazing meals, nice clothes, and more affection and love and support than you’d know what to do with –

    before you cheated on her? I think he didn’t. He COULDN’T have. He says “I didn’t think.” NO SHIT. If you did, you could.not.have.POSSIBLY EVEN BEGUN to think of being unfaithful to me!

    • So true.. but it still very much stings that he didn’t care to think. He was so far up his ass that he knew what he was doing.. he was in control, he justified being a cowardly bitch ass..
      If he can justify all of that.. well geesh he can sure justify pretending he’s a changed man and not who he was before..

      But of course I am the one who can’t see that.. I just stay in the past, or better yet fueling the fire..

      Yeah buddy.. sorry I can’t see you as the most wonderful changed man you are.. Foolish me right??

      • NOPE!

        They see *themselves* through our eyes… the them WE made them appear to be, to everyone else and to ourselves.

        They didn’t deserve to be seen through those eyes in the first place. So for them to then see us as less-than? And take a big SHIT on us – and minimize the WONDERFUL things we’ve done to make their lives a-fucking-MAZING? Enviable, even. FUCK THEM.

        If you can’t tell, I’m angry today. Waking up from dreaming over forgotten memories and extrapolating from that intuition, into possibly MORE occasions of infidelity? That’ll do it.

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