Why 

why when I know I don’t want to have ever shared my husband and nothing can change that

That he will always be a man that has broke my heart 

That I want nothing to do with that man 

And I am set on divorcing him and I tell him

When I have feel I completely have given up on this marriage 

Why then do I not feel happy or at peace?

Why Do I seem to become short-tempered with the kids and just plain cranky??

But when I  am not talking divorce when I just don’t remember any hurt or pain and Charles and I seem to be a couple kind of anyway ??

Why am I happy and at peace then the anger comes back or the remembering.. Then was I just being delusional to think I forgot? Or could pursue marriage with him?

Is the relationship I have with Charles worth moving forward with him to keep him in my life? 

I say no..

But  thinking about him my heart says yes.. 

Stupid heart shut the fuck up..

Hmmmm maybe I just found my answer…

Love 

NH

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2 thoughts on “Why 

  1. I can relate to your feelings. I think that is why we are supposed to live in the present moment. That really is all there is. It is interesting that is when you are happy. The past is gone. Non-existent. The future never arrives. All that is true and real exists in the present moment. If you can live there you will be happy–divorced or not.

  2. I think the answer for you has always been love, just as the rest of us who are still here after Dday! It’s just hard to imagine stay or go, the affair is always there, you can’t escape it! XO Joan

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