Making pizza and Can I be friends with a cheating spouse??

Thoughts of our friendship between Kendra and I come and go. Strange I don’t think I want to relive the day of when understanding the man I married is not the man I thought I knew. It’s crazy how she comes in and out of my life.

It’s easy to just drop the idea of her, however am I healing if I hope I haunt her the rest of her life??

BWHAHAH!! I know I’m terrible..

Anyways get a text from my BIL and he asks how I’m doing and tells me to stick to thinking about what I want to do with my life…

Sometimes I forget that now is time.. I don’t have much more time. I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing.. because being in this marriage isn’t working for me.

Sure I could play a good game.. but then I’d be a liar like them and I have options..

Tonight I’m making pizza.. I should have started this earlier

Scratch that I’m making BLT’s pizza tomorrow.. šŸ˜‰ Boy has scouts and a late dinner sucks

Anyways I Googled can I be friends with a cheating spouse..

Google my infidelity and relationship expert..

Not a very good expert because all I found was a divorcee asking the question.

How to be friends with him but then I’m off track right what does that have to do with my future?

Am I supposed to just be goal-oriented and just find me and stick to my plans and maybe M and I will become friends?

I’m a little lost as you can tell.. Least I know what I’m having for dinner and can pay my bills for now šŸ™‚

I used to have great dreams of owning a coffee shop/video game arcade

Internet marketing anything

Having some business of my own..

Now that I’m focused on my dreams and what can I do? What am I going to do?

But now that I’ve been thrown from some sort of reality is it terrible that I don’t have any dreams or ambitions and just want to be with my kids and just be?

Which seems a bit underwhelming but it’s all I want right now..

Which seems that I am just not living life to the fullest?

I don’t know it’s strange.. We all know I’m strange..

I’m not sure what I’m going to do but I suppose I need to muster up some confidence and make something happen..


That job I wanted has not called back.. guess that wasn’t meant to be..

I’m going to apply at Safeway after the reunion and wedding.

I still haven’t worked out yet.. I’m sure a BLT will help me get off my butt right?? LOL

Here’s to new life.. and being friends with Charles..

If that’s even possible..


3 thoughts on “Making pizza and Can I be friends with a cheating spouse??

  1. Keep dreaming about what you want your life to look like and it will come. Pursue your dreams now. I took a “Starting Your Own Business” class at a community college here. I haven’t done anything with it but it was the start and I might just take the next step when things are more settled. I am glad I did it.

  2. Yikes…totally understand…We are so much alike it’s weird. I too have wanted a coffee shop, but with my arts and crafts and others as well…more of a lounge read a book and stay a while place…beat nick.
    Anyway, I am so sorry for all these thoughts. I am stewing over the same stuff. I just wrote my post and then read this and thought…good grief are we sharing a brain? ha šŸ™‚
    I cried today with memories so fresh in my mind for over a week now, battling the memories…battling the fact that I do NOT know who my husband is…not at all.
    I’ve googled so much and thought to google more and many times God speaks to my heart and says…”Bel, Stop…google can’t answer all your questions.” Some questions only God can answer. It’s hard to wait. We need love, joy, and peace…there is no doubt a reason for the order of these words in the scriptures…the indigence that makes up patience are maturing in these virtues first…love, joy, and peace. (another post for another time). Today I am so tired, I’ve been very tired and depressed for quite some times now.
    I haven’t talked to you in a while so I’ll just share some random thoughts with you. HA!
    trying to have some corky fun times I pierced my nose…and highlighted my hair…
    and…well I guess I have a stupid question too…with your family trying to help you move along with your life in one direction or another do you feel like torn?
    Sometimes I feel weird even changing my facebook picture…like my family and some friends will be all peeved with me if I post a profile pic of me and him…and then I think he feels slighted or hurt if I take him out of my profile picture. He never says anything…it’s no wonder I thought he was someone he is not. He never says much of anything so I got to make up who my husband was.
    God has something for you and i both…there is a place of peace for us. Praying for rest, peace, joy, and answers to pray for you. Hugs from the other side of the country. ā¤

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