Thoughts of our friendship between Kendra and I come and go. Strange I don’t think I want to relive the day of when understanding the man I married is not the man I thought I knew. It’s crazy how she comes in and out of my life.
It’s easy to just drop the idea of her, however am I healing if I hope I haunt her the rest of her life??
BWHAHAH!! I know I’m terrible..
Anyways get a text from my BIL and he asks how I’m doing and tells me to stick to thinking about what I want to do with my life…
Sometimes I forget that now is time.. I don’t have much more time. I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing.. because being in this marriage isn’t working for me.
Sure I could play a good game.. but then I’d be a liar like them and I have options..
Tonight I’m making pizza.. I should have started this earlier
Scratch that I’m making BLT’s pizza tomorrow.. 😉 Boy has scouts and a late dinner sucks
Anyways I Googled can I be friends with a cheating spouse..
Google my infidelity and relationship expert..
Not a very good expert because all I found was a divorcee asking the question.
How to be friends with him but then I’m off track right what does that have to do with my future?
Am I supposed to just be goal-oriented and just find me and stick to my plans and maybe M and I will become friends?
I’m a little lost as you can tell.. Least I know what I’m having for dinner and can pay my bills for now 🙂
I used to have great dreams of owning a coffee shop/video game arcade
Internet marketing anything
Having some business of my own..
Now that I’m focused on my dreams and what can I do? What am I going to do?
But now that I’ve been thrown from some sort of reality is it terrible that I don’t have any dreams or ambitions and just want to be with my kids and just be?
Which seems a bit underwhelming but it’s all I want right now..
Which seems that I am just not living life to the fullest?
I don’t know it’s strange.. We all know I’m strange..
I’m not sure what I’m going to do but I suppose I need to muster up some confidence and make something happen..
That job I wanted has not called back.. guess that wasn’t meant to be..
I’m going to apply at Safeway after the reunion and wedding.
I still haven’t worked out yet.. I’m sure a BLT will help me get off my butt right?? LOL
Here’s to new life.. and being friends with Charles..
If that’s even possible..