I met him when I was 20.
Spent my 21st birthday with him and every one after.
Ahh.. fucked up memories.
Had I known he was going to cheat on me meh would have left him a LONG time ago.
I’ve tried to make his day special.
Gifts, coffee run, breakfast french toast, bacon, fresh fruit, dinner is homemade pizza, peach pie, and ice cream..
Peaches are defrosting as I blog.
Blow job, movies, someone to tell him Happy Birthday and bring him soda.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m whoring myself out. And then I think no I’ve always enjoyed sex. But I can tell in his eyes.
He knows if I had a time machine this would not be happening.. for dam sure.
He’s not stupid.. He was stupid but he seems to be strangely in tune with me or he’s just like every other person I meet.
You know Charles never quite gave into me like all the others and he was a challenge favorite part about him was that I thought he wanted to be different that I did truly get to him in terms of humanity, but that was all in my head.
He was a complete jerk, he never saw how special I was and what we’ve been through until he ruined it all.
He really was that stupid.. good grief.. it’s amazing what the mind will conjure up..
Sometimes I think M and I belong together simply because we are two insanely fucked up people.
Well off to making pie crust.
I know M truly wants his wife to come back, or even be here for him for his birthday.
But have no desire, passion, or fire for the man besides money and physical activity 🙂
Wow.. I seem to have ALOT in common with the sluts today..
Good thing my self-esteem is in tact enough to say who cares?
I no longer am able to conjure up anything about M.
Nothing good anyway which I know is a HUGE red flag because I’m only seeing M as this.. not that..
I know better..
Here’s to learning, growing, and making pie.