I want my own place.

To throw my pillows down, to have everything the way I like it.

Extremely shallow I know.

I want no one to tend to..

I want it all to go away.

One of those She-shed’s would be nice.

Now to figure out how to get one..

Maybe God doesn’t want me to have one because I’m being extremely selfish.

I don’t know I will talk to him more about it.

I wonder if I will tell M..

He was installing our new toilet and he gets grossed out by fluids and so I offered him some latex gloves. He was complaining they were too small but I have bigger hands than him and I put them on just fine.

I told him he isn’t used to putting on plastic. (In my mind referring to unprotected sex.. with the woman who sleeps around on her family)

Not sure he got it, or he just wanted to pass that one by.

All of us started the reading program at the library. I’m excited to be apart of it with all of the kids. I used to be in the reading program as a child.

And as I was plowing through a book, I noticed I needed to be as intent reading my Bible and praying.

Praying for so many things and people. My pals back in KS, their lives, my children’s salvation, our home, my life and the path I look forward to taking, or exploring.

So I thought I would read Psalms.

I think I will use this so I don’t talk to M before I go to bed. It doesn’t bring me peace anyway.

Psalms 4:4 New International Version
Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

I have a hard time being silent in bed.

I want to search my heart, not sin, and be at peace..

Talking to M in bed does none of that.

P.S. I want to practice strength, I look forward to working out and pursuing strength in my words, dreams, and body..


One thought on “Fantasy

  1. I love your little dig at your husband re the putting on of plastic. I find those one liners coming to me all the time, sometimes i bite my tongue but more often that not i just let them flow. Whether he gets them or not, and I’m pretty sure he does, it makes me feel ever so slightly better LOL!!

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