The next Session Children and Divorce in Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce..

So a question definitely always comes up in this study

Does the Word give me reason to divorce?

And I’m like heck yeah it does!! BAM!!..

But in dealing with my children and how the divorce would affect them.

And this is just specifically for my family every sitch is different and yes I said “sitch” I got me some words anyways

My children will be devastated.

Just like I was in dealing with M going to church, pretending he was leading this family in a positive way, pretending he was okay that he was doing the right thing.

It’s so gross.. and I’m an adult I have numerous ways to try and comfort myself with the Great Delusioner..

But the kids? Oh the kids.. my sweet babies that love their family so much. And like I said things aren’t that bad here. Which is almost a red flag in some cases to even say .. but we really look from the outside doing alright.

And on the inside too.

Gosh I still hate him.. I do.. Not all the time but I’m in tune with my SINFUL self and know it but I’m writing down Phil 4:8 and clinging it closely to my heart today.

Thinking about how my children will be affected by divorcing M hurts. Hurts in a different way.

Going to talk with Charles today about the session I did. Wow.. it was tough to read and work through.. knowing and studying what my kids may possibly go through. Because they love their Dad they think the world of him. I have taught them to respect their Father, address him when they are speaking with him, and know he is a final say.

I still have kept that image for them. That their Father loves them. The boy knows his father betrayed us. The pieces will only be put together later and when he finally understands what is Dad did. I hope I am able to help him and comfort our boy.

Or maybe he will just forget and not remember.

Like the girl’s our pastor’s little girl has Jessie’s name. I hope they forget about the first Jessie they met. I hope they never remember.

Time to go make burritos.

Busy evening tonight..

Looking forward to hugging my Dad 🙂 This whole affair thing has given me a whole new appreciation for the people who are authentic..

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2 thoughts on “The next Session Children and Divorce in Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce..

  1. It sounds like you are at a fork in the road, and none of the potential paths you can take are very appealing.

    My marriage was badly broken, and I held on for a long time. Partially because I still loved my wife, and hoped that we would make it through but also because of the kids. During the stretch that I was “holding on”, putting my children to bed at night was one of the only things that kept me going. But at that time I came to a few realizations.

    Splitting up with my wife would definitely do damage to my kids, and all the stats show that children of separated/divorced parents are much more likely to end up divorced themselves. So that option would potentially allow ME another chance at happiness in the future, but it would come at significant cost to me kids.

    Staying with my wife in the situation at the time however was not healthy either. Not only was there a lot of tension in the house where everyone was on edge, but also what were we modeling? Kids learn from what they see, and they were observing parents who didn’t show each other affection, tell each other they loved each other, or show any joy in being around each other. I believe our expectations of what a relationship “should” look like are formed by the relationship we see the most – usually our parents. If things between my wife and I didn’t improve significantly, I felt we were doing more long term harm to the kids by staying together than we would be being apart.

    I have a blog post about “for the sake of the children”, but to me the only way staying for the children ever does any good is if you use the children as a reason to work together and improve the relationship at a time you would otherwise have a hard time doing so. If you can do that, great. But if you are staying in an unhappy spot for the children, then I don’t see any benefits for anyone.

    Just my 2 cents…

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