Fucking Fish..

So he decides to fish..

Then has no idea how to process fish..

So then by the 7th fish decides to get a fillet knife..

And when did he decide to fillet the fish in the kitchen today during dinner time when I am already grilling fish (to his credit he didn’t know that)

Anyways I’m on fucking fire..

He’s using my cutting board to fillet dam fish and never even talked to me about this is how I’m going to do it. In our kitchen just like this..

I guess I should think why am I getting so upset? How else are the fish going to get cleaned?

I don’t know the docks anywhere but MY kitchen..

And then I must remember it’s our kitchen.

He really wanted to try and cook with me while we were in KS and his ideas are shit to me.. Because if I wanted to cook with someone I would have to plan all of that out.

I do it with the kids and it’s a nightmare, fun times, but a nightmare.. I am usually exhausted when it’s all done..

And so what did he do besides mention it.. nothing.. but I suppose to his credit I didn’t really value the idea or encourage it..

Hence crappy attitude because why oh why am I doing this marriage again?? Oh yes my family..

Who just witnessed one of our yelling matches which I can only imagine that will not be the only one about the dam fish..

Fucking fish..

Stupid fishing..

I am going to the docks with my phone and cleaning the dam fish on my own.. because why??

Because my Dad just butchers them.. and Charles is just all over the place in taking charge..

Fucking take charge this is the way you plan on doing things..

Not all wishy washy.. like a wimp..

He’s so wimpy compared to me.. I know I shouldn’t compare but I feel bad.. One I’m not a small woman in size or personality.

And I think married to someone who is as fiercely passionate and strong as I am can be pretty intense

You know this is really stupid to be fighting over, yet it also seems so climatic and dramatic at the same time..

Like if you can’t take charge and fucking have a system for your dam fish then don’t bring them home.

Kind of like sluts..

Maybe I’m on edge because of fuck who mentioned I need to make up my protection sheet?

And then on FB I realized back in the day I’m tagged in pictures of Jesse’s party and I try to delete them and I try to get rid of them and well it doesn’t work. .

And who’s stupid face do I see?? Yeah Kendra’s smiling like the fake slut she is..

Ugh..

So maybe it’s the fish, protection sheet, that my husband was a slut and fucked a slut and I hope they both get what they deserve.

Suffering..

Well for right now.. at least.. fuck them both.. I so want him out of the house and for what an argument over fish is what he will see.

So frustrating..

Because I feel like a toddler would or what I understand of toddlers that I cannot express what I feel correctly so a tantrum just arises and I’m angry..

Just blaring on fire making no sense at all..

And adult tantrums cause much more disruption I have seen than toddler ones..

I want it all to be over guys..

I want to never know this life with Charles or the kids and just walk away..

Save myself..

Quite selfish indeed..

Here’s to the rest of the evening..

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