As I’m enjoying blogging on my other site about the life of NH which on occasion includes Charles..
I think here will be a bit more upbeat and challenging on occasion because truly finding myself after losing the husband that I knew and woman I thought was a friend..
A ton of hate stirred up in my heart like an effervescent cauldron with NH at the spoon
(insert best cackle I can do)
And that How not to hate your husband seems to be a well searched idea..
So maybe I can help someone who finds me here still after almost 2 years of blogging
Not that I’m any kind of expert or that since I’m on this path of a cheated on person I know how any of this works..
But I do know hating my husband brought me to great highs and great lows about myself..
And to stop hating him.. to stop the ruminating of pain that caused me to roll down a track that sent me off a cliff many times I will say.. time helped but trust me in NH land I could keep that roller coaster rolling pretty dam well..
I’m a great extrovert, passionate, fiery type of gal..
Anyways to stop that I realized how unhealthy I am, no not playing blame game.. or how NH can get better by doing x,y,z to make this marriage work.
NH realizes I fell for a man I would never let come 10ft near me but because of hotness and that I thought he loved me.. I excused behavior that should have never been warranted in the first place.. therefore unhealthy NH..
But let’s not get it twisted I’m sure I will always be unhealthy to some degree.. I still like Hostess and McDonalds, I also am still very comfortable with anger..
But what I’ve found is recognizing what I put up with and not vilifying my husband.. the more I can talk with God and pursue a relationship with Christ.. the more I have less of a tendency to hate him..
Because no my life is not all about me.. good grief I remember those days.. I miss them to some degree.
But my life is so much more outside my marriage.. my thoughts, my passions, my faith..
How did I get to this place.. Time.. like all my other wonderful betrayed do, but also with time the dealing with the hate, the anger.. I had to go through that and I do know I still will.. and my dealing with I mean getting it out.. telling him, getting help, blogging, therapy, sleep, water.. did I mention time 🙂
Because I can still find ALOT of hate for him if I try..
And I don’t have that kind of time anymore..
I want to eat my health cake..
And it takes so much better.. than dartboarding his face and hers..
Sleeping, getting my room together, and getting my life together..
Love you all..