You know in the beginning of finding so many of my fellow betrayed..
It kept me busy
It made me not feel so alone
and I felt like people knew how I felt
but I have to say I wished someone posted alot more.
Because sometimes I was just waiting for someone’s new post anyone
And I follow a few blogs like in the 200’s
But most don’t post that often, decided to quit
And the ones that do? 1 is a power blogger and posts all the time funny things, his life
One is called Dream Big Dream Often
But far and few between betrayed..
Which is probably a good sign.
So if you’re new at this betrayed part find some other blogs funny blogs, blogs that help you find new dreams, or that you can still dream
someone that posts everyday if you are just tuned in all the time like I was.
Charles is gone tonight and all is well.
We talked about the distance today
And both decided as long as we are following God and doing what needs to be done for our family. house, budget, kids, and ourselves
We are moving forward not as a couple, but as a family and to be honest it doesn’t suck that much
Started Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage. I started it before D-day and just thought all those marriage books were stupid after..
But I guess I feel healthier now and I’m choosing God’s peace and joy for my life.
That I can read these books and find how my relationship with Charles will proceed.
How do I know what a healthy relationship is when I put up with his crap for so long?
When I fell head over heels in lust, worked for love, worked to honor the commitment I made to this family. What happens when you focus on yourself and get healthier?
I always wanted to be better than I was.
Starting websites, dreaming up new goals, pursuing a degree in who knows what,
Looking inside at me..
But I take it too far.. sometimes being too insightful can lead to feeling like you have to fix so much of yourself.
Apologize for so much.
I won’t go back there again and apologize for not being the spouse he needs, or even wants.
I will not apologize for being who I am ever again.
I will not second guess the things I want because of how he feels.
Wow.. pretty bold statements..
I wonder what I will think of them tomorrow. 🙂
Till Next Time