The first thing I have done in a long time on a whim.
Just wanted to explore the activity I’m sure I will bomb on my first word but never know.
$5 to go and the kids are home and I’m blogging I feel so strange like I’m breaking out of what I used to be with Charles.
I texted for prayer today as I struggle with the divorce ideation.
Looking at my life how I pined to spend time with Charles and loved that company
That I don’t need his company.
I will be fine on my own without him and jobs are scarce here but they lack qualified people here and that’s why I think I could get a good job here at least making 20-30 an hour.
But am I making a decision too harshly am I over emotional?
Suppose no need to rush anything or decide anything but I am more leaning towards that now that he’s gone but you know me it’s only been a week.
Like Kat I want someone I’m with to love me, pursue me, take all of me in and someone to be with that I believe in..
I wonder if that is a load of crap though..
Am I shooting for some pipe dream?
I’m glad I have my phone I should have brought a book.
I hav missed my independence it’s quite scary and exhilarating at the same time.
I know I know it’s a spelling bee not divorce papers, a date, or any huge step
But it seems like it is for me
To just breath in my aloneness and just rest
The bee is running late..
I might not even stay but I came and tomorrow is VD so if I’m not on tomorrow happy VD everyone❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️