2nd rate love story..

Will mine always be that way?

Because that’s what it feels like..

He doesn’t see me or know me..

How the fuck could he? being such a self-centered prick..

I swear if he wasn’t such a necessary evil!

You know he forgot about our date night before he left.
I asked him are we still going out tonight?

I didn’t want to wait and roll my eyes at him even more before he left.

So I asked..

And he was all uhh.. I completely forgot I’m so sorry.. I would’ve remembered..

I would have..

Sure, sure you would have.

Anyways I’m sure you can tell I’m in a mood.

But my love story guys.. the one that I thought I had and the one I currently am in if you can call it that.. seems so second rate.

And NO.. it’s not because of all the Valentine’s stories.

I suppose my hobby was being in love oh I loved the feeling!! I loved the anticipation of seeing my spouse and spending time with him. I loved caring for him.

I loved having sex with him and think I’m special.. Having sex with him used to make me feel special, being with him as well.

Now I feel meh.. He tries to call me his Queen he says the cheesiest things.. It’s almost like dejavu being in the army before being married and after.

He didn’t need to know all the guys who came after me after we were married.

I’m not a slut-bag.. maybe if I was one all my deficiencies would have been over looked and his dumb-ass would have had some integrity..

Oh anger is out in full-swing..

2Black Cadillacs  wrote about her feeling in love and I wonder will I feel that ever?? And do I want to wait around for that to happen. Because I kind of feel like I wasted so much time with Charles already..

Ugh..

Going to go play with kids..

Make dinner..

Chill the hell out..

Probably finish the last of my wine..

Tomorrow’s another day..

❤ NH

 

 

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2 thoughts on “2nd rate love story..

  1. Sending you positive thoughts and a hug. If you have any inkling that all could be well, take the time. Believe me, I had plenty of moments of feeling helpless and completely impatient. It was only after I calmed myself down and accepted what happened and vowed to move forward that we did. Even if the other wife had not come forward, we were moving ahead, just slowly. I got lucky in having someone else step up to the plate and call her out for who she really was. But regardless, he left the OW and he committed to make it work, which he did. Take things one step at a time. It’s painful to have to wait and feel like you’re going through it all in slow motion.

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