Well I told him about the job..

Why?

We were talking money..

Anyways just prepping the resume and FB’ing all the people who are involved in the hiring process.

I know I’m strange.

He Facetimed me and I smile when I see his face!!

I wanted to smile too.

I’m trying that whole just go with it.. I overthink and want to act on the things I want to do.

Anyways I smiled, he smiled, the kids loved seeing him.

It was funny he was all you were so hyped about the last job and you were offered it, but backed out..

And I told him well remember we talked about it and the pay wasn’t that great with all union fees and it’s long term. I think he forgot that part, like he forgets many things.

This job only 6 months. Which is nice. Sure I’ll be working the summer, but I’m not going anywhere anyway and the hours are afternoon to evening.

I think it makes him nervous me getting a job, plus he’ll be doing bedtimes and dinner for 6 months?

I’m all for making him nervous. Also putting anything on the darn resume.. I’m applying for college next year for sure. Time to finish up things.

This week I plan on getting some beach glass jewelry done. I look forward to it!!

The boy can sell it for me. We’ll get him a business license and let him go for it. 🙂 I will teach him to make them as well. I also taught him how to fill in holes in the wall and sand them. He was also instructed to take some plastic paneling off of the wall in our living room too.

He’s growing up so fast!!

Well those are my plans.. who knows what will happen. I’m not out anything besides pride and ego if this job doesn’t call me back. It closes this Thursday at 5.

I miss him too. I miss holding him. I even just want to jump in the shower with him just to see what it would feel like.

Not sex wise but to just let go. If that is what I’m even doing.

Honestly I wonder if I’ll be one of those discontent people who always have an excuse to not do something like say divorce Charles.

Like next year American Samoa.

or the kid’s graduating, or the kid’s getting married, or we’re buying a vacation home.

Also I’ve been thinking about what I want in this relationship and is it okay to ask for?

Like I want him to fucking remember shit. Write it down. Fuck anything!!.

Or I want to know what does he remember? Is that just his personality? Like me closing cabinet doors.. I’m not sure I’ll ever change that one.

Or my lax in time management. I want to improve I’m just terrible at it.

Also that I want a man with insight. And I was all bashing him a few days ago but as I type this to you..

Charles is on me like a hawk. The man watches my every move on FB. He comes home and glares at my eyes. He’s very attentive now. And at first I was wondering should I tell him I want a man who is insightful about me?

However sometimes he’s a bit too insightful and I’m like listen fucker I’m eating these donuts.. I know what i said and I don’t want to listen to what I asked you to remind me!!

I know the man can’t win..

And sometimes the fact that he’s still trying makes me kinda swoon a bit..

Then I imagine me smacking myself saying “Get ahold of yourself WOMAN!” don’t fall too fast and turn into a fucking romantic nut!!

Because I deal with extremes and I don’t think it’s a wise move to fall head over heels with Charles..

Not just for him, but for me too.

We all know I got some terrible relationship skills and I don’t think I’ve healed or figured things out there yet.

Well off to bed.


NH

 

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