As I make the mashed potatoes and the sweater I’m keeping

Dinner is late.

My exercise routine is in the works.

Still reading books

Turkey Mashed potatoes, and salad tonight

Had Parent Teacher Conf for the middle schooler

Charles is making fun of my sweater that I wore.

More poking at it the way a child does. I know I have 4 of them just saying things at random because they feel like it.

I don’t really care pertaining to me.

I just tell him well I like it and if you don’t like it maybe you can find someone who dresses how you like.

It’s an OLD Jnco sweater. Dark grey comfy as hell. I look the part of housewife doesn’t do anything kind of clothing, possibly even so far to look the part as a woman in a half-way house.. but that’s what I chose to wear.

And he was making jokes. Fine whatever.

Except… why not I do some digging as I start to prepare for the mashed potatoes.

I ask him were you making fun of my sweater? He says “Yes”

I say why? What purpose are you looking to achieve by poking fun at my sweater?

See all games and poking fun aside is pretty much non-existent at each other in the battle for reconciliation if that is what I could call him and I.

Because it muddies the waters. What the fuck are you really meaning is NH’s first line of communication with Charles.

Because do you mean what you say, I need to see it I need to know you fucking understand what the hell you are doing and saying..

And some would scoff and say NH?? He’s been doing this 2 years can you give the guy a break? I mean he’s clean and sober now from being a dumb ass.. gosh poor Charles..

It’s unfortunate the ones who back this theory are ones who’ve not really had their husband be a complete lying douche and have the nerve to tell his wife after he was caught and I ask him does it bother you that you are married and to touch another woman it doesn’t disgust you? And what did honest Abe say then.. “No”

So with that sort of evidence NH knows what she’s working with.. Grade A dumb in reality with people

And do I think 2 years not being a slut has changed his mentality some.. but hell not a whole lot.

So anyways he didn’t like me prying at him about why? Why are you commenting on my clothing? What purpose is that serving? You? Me?

And he was a bit irritated because he said I don’t know maybe because you like the sweater so much.

Then he had to go help out the church (we knew this already) so he left probably thankful for that intermission.. However why?

What is his motive complaining about my clothes?

And see back in the day I would have bought into the whole your husband is visual and wants his woman to dress up and bless your husband by being visually presentable for him.

Oh yeah well start wearing track suits and cut your dam hair is what I say to that now.

Because why? Why are we catering to our visual spouses? For them? Wow.. nope not ever again. You take me JNCO sweater, stretch pants and all.. or you can exit stage left out of my face.

And now, yes.. if the universe got all crazy and someone said.. Ma’am you have to chose between the sweatshirt or Charles. I would probably choose Charles.. probably

But if someone said which do you prefer the sweater or Charles?

Sweater.. hands down. will I change my mind? Maybe I can’t tell the future.. but for right now the sweater stays. And I just might wear it every other day from now on.

Charles always had and still has something to say about my clothes and to that I give him the big dam middle finger! Is that respecting my husband I don’t know.. probably not the middle finger part, but how does one think when you’ve betrayed another that commenting on one’s appearance in a negative way is going to promote anything but unchanged behavior.. and unchanged heart.

Is this a deal-breaker? I don’t know it could be over time for this relationship.. but is it a deal breaker for me for to lose sleep over to ask him well what does he prefer I wear, to pray over my wardrobe and find out what speaks to my spouse.. hell no..

And I really want to preach that from the pulpit.. that God doesn’t care what your spouse is wearing. He loves them where they are and if you are unhappy with your spouses appearance and think they should change? Well guess what your the problem not them.

I don’t care if they gained 1 million pounds or wear their high school T-shirts.

And he is in disbelief that I don’t buy his story on that he thinks I’m beautiful and wants me for me..

proof is in the pudding someone used to tell me.. and I’m a pudding expert

Curious to continue the conversation with Charles.

Also I started the movie Blended

HILARIOUS!! I’m starting it over because I had to turn it off in when the kids got home..





One thought on “As I make the mashed potatoes and the sweater I’m keeping

  1. Hmmm. A case of the actions not quite following the words, Charles. Of course we all want the projection of a good looking (outside packaging) partner. That is our ego talking. The reality is we need to listen to how that makes our partner feel. Is that demeaning to them. Sure is. Sure can be. It’s another picking at the scab of “not good enough” – and I understand the middle finger salute. Fuck ’em. We did all of that catering to their ego. I only cater to mine now – if I ever catered to his? Not sure about that really. But I don’t think Charles making clothing put downs is a healthy thing for him to do if he wants to keep his genitalia!

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