I took a shower with him

It’s been on my mind.

Also sometimes it’s just practical.

However I did it and it was nice.

I would like to do that again. However I’m skeptical gosh it has been almost 2 years since I showered with him..

Anyways the shower was nice..

His hands have always felt good on me.

Whether he was a cheater or not.

I still like looking at him.

Alright well that’s all for now. Not sure this is a step towards him, or just an experiment gone awry.. but for a long time my decisions reflected that.

Does this mean I’m committed to him? Does this mean I’m staying or leaving..

I suppose after all of that.. it was foolish and still is to think any one thing we do can only bring about a definite decision involving a relationship such like Charles and I.

The better question to pose for myself is am I exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit, creating peace, growing as a person?

Because the stay or go question is not over at all, it’s just not frontline thinking anymore.


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