Is it just me but why are some bible studies so darn expensive?
I wanted to study more about the full armor of God.
And well guess I will just stick to my bible because I’m not spending $70 plus bucks on her vide
I look for other studies in the mean time
Besides Bible studies I feel stronger lately
And I’m not working out at all or running.
I’m sure I will start soon because I can just feel it’s going to happen. The only way I can explain it is say I want a cake or coffee the urge is there and I accomplish this task.
I figure out a way, pick the item, consume it all of that takes energy and an amount of pleasure. I am starting to feel that way about exercise.
I feel my life changing.
Maybe it’s the desire to pray more and pursue God fervently because without him I would have ended up on snapped and in jail.
Some would say I might deserves such a cheater for a husband how messed up I am. Because I truly desired to take them both out either by my own hands or prayed for God to take them out.
I know God doesn’t work that way just lost my ability to be strong for awhile.
But I’d like to say I’m stronger today, smiling more, de-cluttering more, and finding my way without Charles but with him for now.
That book Imperfect Harmony is pretty darn interesting
Lately I’ve been thinking about if I stay with Charles the marriage I won’t have and grieve that.
The book recommends that.
It was interesting because I’ve thought the opposite for such a long time.
Until after affair happened that things could change in my marriage, that my husband loved me and we could get through anything
It’s not true. I am upset I have an adulterer for a husband. I will not have a faithful husband if I continue this marriage with Charles and it breaks my heart. But to actually assess the things I will not have in a marriage and grieve over them because I married Charles.
I most likely if I stay will always have an adulterer for a husband, a man who rarely cooks, a musician, a man who rarely sees he operates on double standards unless he sees it happening to him.
And I’m not being hateful or spiteful it just is what it is
If Charles stays married to me he will most likely always have a non navigating, passionate, loud, will fight for a cause wife
And the book talks about grieving that. Know those are givens and shove that off to make space for me. The things I like.
Haven’t finished the book but should soon
Talks about affairs as well
Well that’s life for today off to play little people princesses with Squish found the castle and snow White House with all these princesses for $25 at a garage sale I couldn’t say no
Don’t make fun that I mention declutter and bought a million plastic princesses all in one post
The castle makes all the princesses sing it’s so cool
Till next time