May 26, 2001

I woke up early to marry Charles 

Afterwards  we ordered pizza and juiced in his room

Yeah we were weird 

But I think like the hardwood floor this marriage is pretty much finished 

But y’all know I get testy on days like this 

However yesterday I went to kiss him and we kissed 

Then he said are you kissing me because you just want to kiss me or just want to kiss?

I told him I didn’t know but I would think about that

And after thinking about it 

It’s not him 

I don’t want to kiss him

I don’t want to be in his arms

I don’t want to be in his company

I do it because I like physical touch and he’s here

I’m with him because our family rocks 

But what is our family without this marriage?

I’m not sure 

But writing about my past life is comforting 

Because I can express how I feel and not go into psycho mode 

I think I will celebrate today

I’m not sure how 

Or for what yet 

But life is short and LONG 

One thought on “May 26, 2001

  1. (((HUGS))) Anniversaries are hard. I could be doing great for a month, 2 months, 3 months, and then the anniversary would come along and knock me off my feet. There is just something about that date when we stood before God and our friends and family and promised to love and cherish each other for the rest of our lives. It gets primal real quick. I’m sorry about all the triggers. I hope you will be feeling better soon.

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