A strange evening

I wanted to be close to Charles

Although I have no idea why today was stressful

The boy’s church camp is costing us way more than we ever thought

My mother is coming

fishing trips cost money

birthday parties not so much.. but still with all the extras

plus budgeting.. ahh.. budgeting..

I was stressed today and well Charles told me not to be stressed and it felt nice..

Like OH SO NICE

Did he mean it though.. did he take on my stress

He’s had long days

And tonight again we barely touched..

Which maybe a red flag but I’m not sure.

We have grown apart, for quite some time now..

I continue to move on.. get better, be better.. not in a I’m not good enough way but to focus, analyze, and find a way that works better for me.

For example not feeling like we have enough money and I’m a failure..

I am not a failure and there is never enough money.

Even for Beyonce, or whoever is richer..

I’m not sure he wants to get better.. He’s still stuck.. I think he shows signs of wanting to be a better human for himself but he’s stuck.

I can’t help him. I always thought I could but I cannot..

I always believed in the amazing man I thought he was.. I think he could be that guy, but I’m not sure he knows how or where to start..

Suppose the only advice I have for him is to start small. But I have no place to give him advice anymore. He’s on his own path and me on mine..

I do pray for him and want what’s best for him

The boy and I finished more magnets

So next business license then off to go market them

They look pretty darn good 🙂

I’ll take pictures once they cure

Oh and it’s finally her BIRTHDAY..

It’s raining so I didn’t get to pull out her playhouse slide.. but I hope it will clear up today

 

 

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