He’s home

And my Mother and stepfather will be visiting us for 6 days how fun!

I’m just cleaning house getting ready making cookies 

I missed him 

Being in bed with him 

I also missed the window for Bell’s birthday 

The def cons about Alaska living

It’s next week and ugh!!!! 

I hope I can find her some nice things today at the consignment store 

It’s kind of sad the things I stress out about.

I mean really?

Writing about this makes me remember how pregnant I was at Kendra and Bob’s house celebrating their daughters birthday 

I prayed our daughter did not have the same birthday so as besties you know scheduling conflicts 

And she didn’t 

My water broke right after her party and I had Bell the next day

Fuck you Kendra you are the worst woman that has ever come into my life 

And fuck you too Charles you are the worst man I have ever loved 

I think one of these days I will forget them all Bob and Kendra (not entirely of course they are a huge part of one of the worst experiences of my life) because my life will continue to change so drastically

I mean in 5 years I will have a senior in high school

Ages 13, 11, and 9 year old daughters

There will be no more car seats or boosters

So many things will happen to me between now and then 

And faker friend Kendra will be the last thing on my mind 

Charles’s affair?

Honestly silver lining about his affair? He was so far up his own ass it took an affair to wake the fuck up

I don’t think I will call the treatment of me better because the wAy he treats me now it should have always been this way

I fell for a man who didn’t love me he only knew how to love himself 

A man who exploited women and used them as objects rather than treated them as people.

Precious alive human beings

Fuck I married poorly!!

Anyways moving on I suppose I’m really glad to know what an asshat I married and raising children I’m glad that disgusting part of him is known

And he says he never realized how messed up he was 

I don’t quite understand what he means but I will question him when the time is right

Just like I question myself 

Do I really think I deserve to be loved?

And how low of myself or my views of a relationship and how I’m treated to fall for such a man such as Charles

He was no sweetheart that was for sure 

He was stunning to look at always pleasing to the eyes 

Not what I want my kids to bank on when they marry 

Alright well making cookies and wanted to blog but if I continue thinking about post the cookies will burn 

😊

Trying to get ahead and gets things ready before guests arrive 😊

First guests to come relax in our home in Alaska and I’m sure won’t be out last ❤️

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6 thoughts on “He’s home

  1. I found letting go of my anger toward the OW and placing it where it belonged – on my H – felt like breathing again. Once I could do that, we were able to have good, productive conversations and much of that anger has gone. The images, the memories, the hurt. But it takes time. You’ll get there if you both want it.

  2. I have always been struck by what a huge double betrayal you endured. To have your husband cheat is bad enough. To have the affair last as long as it did (2 years right? Give or take a few months.) is even worse. But to realize that the person he cheated with was your best friend? Horrible. She wasn’t some nameless, faceless bimbo who believed his sob story about how horrible his wife was. She was the person who was supposed to have your back just as much as he was. She knew you. She socialized with you. You confided in her. And then she repaid you by stabbing you in the back and sleeping with your husband. I don’t blame you for your anger at all. I just pray that one day you’ll reach a place of peace and they won’t even enter your mind anymore because your life is so fantastic.

    Those cookies look fantastic, btw!

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