I’m just cleaning house getting ready making cookies
I missed him
Being in bed with him
I also missed the window for Bell’s birthday
The def cons about Alaska living
It’s next week and ugh!!!!
I hope I can find her some nice things today at the consignment store
It’s kind of sad the things I stress out about.
I mean really?
Writing about this makes me remember how pregnant I was at Kendra and Bob’s house celebrating their daughters birthday
I prayed our daughter did not have the same birthday so as besties you know scheduling conflicts
And she didn’t
My water broke right after her party and I had Bell the next day
Fuck you Kendra you are the worst woman that has ever come into my life
And fuck you too Charles you are the worst man I have ever loved
I think one of these days I will forget them all Bob and Kendra (not entirely of course they are a huge part of one of the worst experiences of my life) because my life will continue to change so drastically
I mean in 5 years I will have a senior in high school
Ages 13, 11, and 9 year old daughters
There will be no more car seats or boosters
So many things will happen to me between now and then
And faker friend Kendra will be the last thing on my mind
Honestly silver lining about his affair? He was so far up his own ass it took an affair to wake the fuck up
I don’t think I will call the treatment of me better because the wAy he treats me now it should have always been this way
I fell for a man who didn’t love me he only knew how to love himself
A man who exploited women and used them as objects rather than treated them as people.
Precious alive human beings
Fuck I married poorly!!
Anyways moving on I suppose I’m really glad to know what an asshat I married and raising children I’m glad that disgusting part of him is known
And he says he never realized how messed up he was
I don’t quite understand what he means but I will question him when the time is right
Just like I question myself
Do I really think I deserve to be loved?
And how low of myself or my views of a relationship and how I’m treated to fall for such a man such as Charles
He was no sweetheart that was for sure
He was stunning to look at always pleasing to the eyes
Not what I want my kids to bank on when they marry
Alright well making cookies and wanted to blog but if I continue thinking about post the cookies will burn
Trying to get ahead and gets things ready before guests arrive 😊
First guests to come relax in our home in Alaska and I’m sure won’t be out last ❤️