Sometimes I still want to see her ugly mug

Yes I am talking about Kendra

The skinny blonde ultimate worst faker best friend ever

Why NH why?? You say

I don’t know sometimes I make bad choices 

Like eating a whole cake 

Things like that 

Anyways looking at her boyish looks did nothing for me 

As it should 

Although I have to say I’m far from over this and I wonder if I will always want her to suffer 

Suppose I want them both to suffer always In a sense 

I’m past the stage of praying for their deaths (yes I know it was wrong)

But I think I’m a ways away from looking at her and not thinking at first glance anything but nice things 

So why look at her? I don’t know 

Don’t be a hater I mean it’s not like I saved her naked and 1/2 naked photos and am looking at those 

Looking at her I don’t immediately think I want to punch that person 

Suppose if anything that’s still masking the sadness 

And the pain of ever being her friend and thinking we had any kind of a bond 

But moving on 

Charles still thinks I should go to school I’m still on the fence 

The magnets are coming along nicely I’d like to have 100 and social media pages up and running 

And the business cards set up as labels too 

All still in the works 

I’m trying to not freak out 

Which is rather relaxing 

Because I want to live free in Christ 

Sure I fail but I want to be stonger than this 

I want to look st Kendra one day and not feel anything 

I want to look at Charles and well I have no idea what I want to do with him

He’s pretty amazing

He’s driven 

He’s focused 

He’s always touching me 

In the best ways ever 

We laugh more 

I think we laugh more together now than we’ve ever had before because he laughs now

He’s not a jerk 

He helps where he can 

It’s weird 

But nice 

Comforting and awkward 

Well off to take a shower and rid my thoughts of the lady who’s name starts with K.

Till next time 

NH

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