Sadness and confusion

Still thinking about going to college 

Still haven’t finished the floor 

Still finding my way to relaxing and not freaking myself out

But last night I was sad 

Sad because while I am still growing and learning about me 

I get wrapped up in remembering how I used to have a relationship I felt safe in two actually 

I loved them both and now I don’t 

I love differently

I am different 

And Charles just held me and I fell asleep

I never realized what an emotionally abusive relationship I was in 

I never realized I gave a man power over my life 

I have a hard time with the shame and regret of that

Well anyways I wake up with a better attitude and that I am awake from that nightmare that was a terrible relationship 

And now I wonder if the sadness is just the accepting of new 

Regaining my strength and feeling vulnerable 

Which aren’t terrible things

Just finding my way back to me and who I am is not easy for me

I get down on myself because of that fact 

And being aware of that I must counteract that thought 

Which is exhausting and also freeing ❤️❤️


5 thoughts on “Sadness and confusion

  1. You have been thinking about 2 relationships in which you felt safe.

    But you weren’t.

    And now you are finding your way to safe, your way to a voice that can’t be quieted.

    It is hard, but it is the place of freedom. Keep stepping…

  2. hi, am Anderson, i had my friend help me hack my ex’s email, facebook, whatsapp,and his phone cause i suspected he was cheating. all he asked for was a his phone number. he’s email is ( u need help tell him Anderson referred you to him and he’ll help. Am sure his going to help you do it, good luck

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