Failing again..and Me..

Dangit.. College Algebra is kicking my ass.. I feel pretty stupid.. but I finally got my book in and am reworking the chapter.. and if I fail Chapter 1.. well I’m gonna get me a tutor..

Although I really don’t want one.. seriously.. I have issues with needing help..

Charles and I argued this point about the tutor thing after I failed to get my assignment in on time because 1 problem was taking me an hour folks.. yeah an hour.. FML.. eyerolls and I look forward to doing better.. because it really can’t get any worse.. at this point I’m just looking for a C.. at the end of December..

The stress of this class takes my momentum off the things in my other classes..

But I’ve got to push through.. I’m good at math at least I used to be and once I pass this class I will never have to take it again.. ever.. Thank the Lord..

And back to me.. I know it was small but that table cloth and those towels.. well.. I had a great time buying them.. I saw them and was like go for it!!

I don’t normally do that.. I wait.. then regret later..

A small win for me..

At least I hope so. I’m debating whether to sleep on the couch or in my bed..

I feel so distant from a man I have known for 15 yrs. Breaks my heart still to think about it.

Not affair, but just that I don’t know him.

He asked today after I said our marriage is horrible.. He said is it really horrible? And I said yes and no. Yes in that we are struggling to hold on to so little between us and we’ve known each other for so long it is horrible.. and sad.. and no because I’m being treated as I should have been all along. Really well. Seriously guys this past year well I have been respected, cared for, taken care of, and he’s been assisting without resenting.

He makes lunches, decisions with me, leads bible studies..

I’ve been trying to see what it is that I like about him and it’s sad on my part I don’t have alot to go off of throughout our whole marriage aside from a great Dad and provider.

Oh and that rubbing my face against his still feels amazing.

Even with wrinkles and all

We barely knew each other getting married.

I thought we could make it.. we didn’t…

My husband was a crappy friend for 14 years to me.

That still stings..

I think I will sleep in my bed tonight I’m tired and have company coming in the morning..

 

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3 thoughts on “Failing again..and Me..

  1. When I read your posts I just want to reach out and hug you. You are doing a fabulous job!

    Yesterday in church we talked about being out in the wilderness and how some things we aren’t meant to understand but just get through. I pray for you to find peace, comfort, and the answers your heart is looking for so that you can have the marriage God has intended for you. I am rooting for you!

    About the math. Try this website: https://www.khanacademy.org/

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