The arguments over Math

So he comes home he has an appt

And I was asking if it’s too late to drop the class for a full refund 

And he said yeah and was saying how I should probably do the math before this one 

And so on

And well

One thing led to another 

Because if I’m going to drop it well 

I’ve put so much time into it 

And effort 

And well I think he doesn’t understand the effort 

Or the fact that I’m doing what usually comes naturally to me book work and it isn’t 

Somewhere my time with Math has come and all my eye rolling to others who just couldn’t get it a long time ago 

Now I understand their plight and it’s killing me 

This coming from a girl who was in Physics in high school 

I didn’t do well because it was so early in the morning 

Anyways 

I don’t know if I want to drop it just yet 

However it’s hard to put the marriage aside and use this as some sort of I’ve worked hard on this marriage and well should’ve cut my losses a LONG time ago 

Should I cut my losses now?

Well off to take a shower wipe the college algebra off my brain for now and go pick up Squish in 15 minutes or so

The stress of this class is frustrating but even in that I feel like I’m developing character 

Although I don’t feel the need to talk to him about my lows 

I can make decisions without him 

I think a part of my anger lies within that he still feels the need to be such a big part of my life 

And acts as such 

Like a fixer of my problems

Like a husband who never stabbed me in the back 

Like his suggestions have more weight than if a stranger were to give me advice on dropping college algebra 

And unlike a stranger they wouldn’t bat an eye 

But him no he will take offense 

Sometimes I feel like that character on American Beauty the guy where he notices his wife fooling around and he says

“You don’t ever get to tell me what to do anymore.”

He says he means well that he doesn’t want to make me angry…

Not sure how to take that..

I hate the tension in the house our arguments leave..

And I get in a crossroad wondering should I care or not..

I’m leaning towards the not 

But who knows

Anyways don’t be surprised if I bomb Chapter 1 I won’t be 

And now off to get the baby and figure out the schedule time for a tutor 

Least I’m not failing 

Spanish 

Haste Luego!!

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “The arguments over Math

  1. Don’t give up!!!! This class may be hard but each one will be one step towards a degree. I went back to school nights with a job, 4 kids under 8 and a troubled marriage. I did it and now 15 years later I am finishing my PHD, I am a full time college teacher and it is all because when I wanted to give up a friend told me this…..if you give up now, in 5 years it will be a memory and unimportant. If you keep going, in 5 years you will cross the stage and be able to tell those who did not believe that they were wrong! Believe in yourself! If going to class is the problem, look into a regionally accredited online school. Just don’t quit!

Comment Here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s