So we haven’t had sex in awhile and I haven’t been interested but lately I have been
And he was standing and i bent down to meet his crotch and I told him I’m horny (yes I use that word)
And so he says so you just touch me because you want sex? Not because you like your husband…
Ugh he can be such a downer
And I feel guilty.. and I don’t know what to say
Sometimes I do sometimes I don’t
But his puppy eyes make me not want to crush his what I want to say sweet ego
Probably the same ego that led him to cheat on me…
Bleh that left a bad taste in my mouth
And you guys I know it’s a sin but I still daydream what it’s like to not be with him to spend a whole night with another man..
To spend my days talking, kissing another man
I have no specific man in mind but I do think of it
But fam bam comes first
It’s not that I only touch him when I’m in the mood
I don’t know sometimes he wants to rush things and I’m just not that into him anymore
Do I want to be? I don’t know?
Do I even care enough about that question? Not really
He’s not a priority
He’s still my husband
He’s slowly becoming my friend again
But he is not the love of my life
Or even a close personal friend
I wished for years he would be but he threw that away
Now he’s got a whole new wife
And he can be here or not.
Choice is his not mine
Because if I would have really had my way he would have dropped dead or left with her and we would never see him again..
But the world doesn’t revolve around NH and well sometimes I admit I don’t know everything so maybe this way isn’t so bad..
He’s really a great Spanish partner and Co parenter
I try and thank him for that..
And remember neither him or Kendra is the enemy..
Both are very broken people (no excuses)
Hurtful people but no enemy of mine