So I carry a grudge over this affair but maybe that isn’t the right word.
Anyways we have been working hard on our homework his classes and mine
And after we were in bed we were tires but too tired to sleep
And I held him and prayed that calms me down and then we both drifted to sleep
Holding him feels strange yet good
Holding him feels familiar and warm
And the strangeness is all of this is alright lately but that he’s not the man I thought I married and I don’t want to coddle to him like a mother
He’s not my son
Yet I feel connected to Charles where I don’t feel like his mother nor does he put me in those positions or treat me as such
So the whole mother worry is my own I don’t ever want to be put in that position so I’m highly sensitive if anything remotely makes me feel that way
So many aspects seems like that in this marriage where I am the one with the troubles and anxiety
He doesn’t seem to have those..
Lucky me I guess