Moving on.. not so much

I’m procrastinating writing a paper than probably going to take me longer than I need that is due tomorrow.

Hopefully next semester will be easier.

Anyways.. I wanted to see Kendra..

For some reason at almost 2am.. I wanted to see her smug face..

and I saw it..

Didn’t make me feel better..

Actually made me want to leave my husband.

Sometimes I hate him.. still. even around Christmas..

But it’s hard to hate someone who brings me water and loves on me soo much.

And I hate it had to take me getting backstabbed by these two.. oh you know what B word I want to say??!! But trying hard not to call names, not to slander, or use malice because it’s not worth the mental degradation to label the adulterers..

Anyways seeing her face she looked good, pretty even.. she didn’t look sad and I do still want her to suffer..

I don’t think of it, but realistically it’s strange I don’t wish Charles to suffer as much as her.. which is dumb.. They should both be sad and miserable forever!!!

Which that is dumb too. I mean who cares if they are miserable forever what does that really do for me..

1 word..

nothing..

Here’s to finishing Race and Ethnicity, becoming a better Mom and person..

My life is so much more than being Charles’s wife, a betrayed, however those parts are still a huge part of who I am. I’d be a liar to say I’m even 1/4 healed from the dumbest pain I have ever been put through. Cheating is so stupid I mean could be completely avoided and is it? No, because spouses are assholes.. ugh I know.. NH the labels..

Well here’s to finishing the papers and being done with school!! for about 3 weeks anyway..

-NH

“The pain doesn’t go away ever it seems but living with the pain gets easier as time goes on, not because the marriage was worth it, the spouse is worth it, but because I am worth waking up to everyday and living life abundantly.”

 

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