Protection

Real names real stories

It’s so strange because I have yet decided as to who to tell my story to in person. I have met wonderful people here and yet only 2 others know on this island about how my world was torn.

How I was so shaken I wanted to die.

How sorry I am I did not protect my children better from the aftermath of marrying a horrible man.

And yet I saw a woman today broken because their 4th foster baby who is a sibling of 3 children they adopted and raised was sent to live somewhere else.

Because of parental rights. And she looks at me and while I try to empathize knowing how it feels to feel so robbed in a situation and you just can’t stop crying. She looks at me as if how could I know? 

I’m a SAHM with a home, four beautiful children, I do not want for many things people struggle for how could I know.

And I wanted to tell her.

Sometimes I don’t say things to protect everything I have. Because I don’t want someone to look poorly on me or my husband becuase guess who gets the brunt of that our children. 

They get the backwards comments remember the boy’s church family friends asking him why his mother doesn’t love his father anymore? Yeah that kind of crap 

And Rizzo says to not speak of it anymore, for it stains and hinders our story from moving on 

And NH is like tell everyone! you are being real and hopefully another woman won’t feel so alone because of you in affairs and the like.

But I stay silent.

And I wait 

Because really Rizzo and I are both right the real life happens somewhere in the middle.

I’m not sure how I feel about so many things, but it seems the longer I stay silent the quieter my rage or want for activism becomes. 

Which I’m not sure is a good or bad thing

Probably once again both 

Also I dropped my math class and am protecting my time. 

My life is so much more than school and I cannot do it all.

Just can’t and that’s okay 

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5 thoughts on “Protection

  1. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

  2. Hi Paloma I did try and do another blog it didn’t work out LOL trial and error and I cannot remember the password I never wrote it down and I haven’t thought about it in years if I remember I will let you know ❤ sorry

    • Hi! Have you ever read the blog “his giant mistake”? I saw an video on you tube with the wife. Just write her name: Cleo Everest, I think you will really like it.

      I would love the password too if you remember it. I send an email with my Instagram, but I will write here too: pilates__chick 🌟

      Xx

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