The shower 

I placed my head on the walls of the shower.

Felt the warm water closed my eyes. 

And it took me back didn’t even mean to go back 

But it did 

The shower was where I used to cry for hours.

I would just sob

My heart so broken it’s if I could feel it.

I could feel me torn in so many places 

All it took was for me to place my head on the wall of my shower to make me remember 

As I remember the feeling I could not feel the feeling if that makes any sense.

Like the memories of Kendra and how we use to laugh and carry on about our kids 

So distant feelings distant memories without any feeling 

Not apathy 

Just not there 

Just like I could not bring back the feeling of such brokenness in yesterday’s shower 

Or bring back that soulless friendship 

It’s so strange to move on from it 

I would like to be all Evangelical about it and say I’m free and have victory over these situations 

But I don’t the shower felt good I didn’t cry not that it’s not okay to cry but I didn’t need to 

I don’t feel broken like I did

I’m thankful for that 

I’m broken in a different way and I’m learning to be thankful for that too 



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