I placed my head on the walls of the shower.
Felt the warm water closed my eyes.
And it took me back didn’t even mean to go back
But it did
The shower was where I used to cry for hours.
I would just sob
My heart so broken it’s if I could feel it.
I could feel me torn in so many places
All it took was for me to place my head on the wall of my shower to make me remember
As I remember the feeling I could not feel the feeling if that makes any sense.
Like the memories of Kendra and how we use to laugh and carry on about our kids
So distant feelings distant memories without any feeling
Just not there
Just like I could not bring back the feeling of such brokenness in yesterday’s shower
Or bring back that soulless friendship
It’s so strange to move on from it
I would like to be all Evangelical about it and say I’m free and have victory over these situations
But I don’t the shower felt good I didn’t cry not that it’s not okay to cry but I didn’t need to
I don’t feel broken like I did
I’m thankful for that
I’m broken in a different way and I’m learning to be thankful for that too