Back to counseling I go

Yeah, Charles and I talked last night 

I told him all I have told you the past weeks and well cheers to him he wasn’t defensive and was open at letting me process all my thoughts. 

He was happy I was talking to him 

Really if I wasn’t married to an adulterer I would claim I have found the one I could grow old with. 

I asked him are you truly willing to wait for me? I mean it could take me 20 years to figure out if I am committed to you. Are you seriously willing to wait for that? 

He said I’m still here 

And then I asked him if he thinks it’s humorous what he did to me. Does he enjoy stringing me along? And then be like Sike!! (Yes I still use that term on occasion) 

Example why let your affair partner watch your kids while you go to marriage counseling with your wife? 

I wanted to know does he find pleasure in fooling me on purpose?

He denied being that person 

He says he understands why I would see things that way but that is not how he saw it at the time

Is this one big scam???

So I can fall for him again and then be like some Prince Hans out of Frozen.

Also I’ve been seeing the doc once a month to change eating habits am told him about my stress levels as a child and now. I told him about affair and nearly broke down crying. Not to blame Charles but it is a factor in my life now. I really thought I was over crying telling people. I’m not I guess.

Surprised I could get into a counselor tomorrow that my doc recommended.

So there you have it I’m acknowledging I’m struggling, I want to figure out my binge eating and manage my emotions when it comes to my marriage and myself 

Love 

-NH

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8 thoughts on “Back to counseling I go

  1. Yes. Counselling sounds like a good idea at this time. Hope it helps. I had a few months of IC last year which really helped me loads, as it also helped me deal with childhood issues I didn’t even realise were impinging so much on my ability to cope after OH”s affair.
    It is good that Charles didn’t get defensive when you needed him, and supported you. A positive move going forward. Good luck with it all. X

      • You say he says he did not see it that way at the time… how did he see it? How does he explain his behavior. I know in my case I felt like a fool. I was duped. They talked about me. It’s still difficult to contemplate how he could be so cruel. I’m glad you are able to talk with someone and I hope it makes you feel better, NH. Geez I hate this for all of us! xx

      • You know I feel like I’ve gone over this with him before and he just did not care. I did not know so it doesn’t matter. I take her out for her birthday, buy her presents, visit with her on the phone, ask her to watch our kids he didn’t care. It didn’t interfere with his life so it wasn’t a bother to him. I will ask him again though. It’s been awhile I would like to hear what he has to say.

      • I know with BE he had been messed up for a long time. It wasn’t a one time thing. He says he didn’t intend for me to ever find out. They weren’t friends and if the one woman hadn’t called me I wouldn’t have found out. It is just so hurtful and mind boggling how they rationalized the behavior. What story do they tell themselves to make it okay. They’re not monsters, so how is it okay, ever. Sorry, just having one of those days. It’s all numb now, but I still feel that empty feeling when I think about it. Big hugs, NH. I hope you are enjoying today! xx

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