Being honest 

I think conversation is much more raw now than ever 

I don’t see Charles with rose colored glasses 

And as my lenses clear I’m left to look at a woman who is sad, but who is also happy 

One who wants to be healthier not just in lbs but in mind 

We talked about so many topics today without it ending in screams 

The affair, before affair, my mental state now, how I don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like for me, how I fear ending up in a relationship for 16 more years thinking all is well when it isn’t.

What my relationship was prior to affair was unhealthy 

I didn’t know any better 

And that makes me sad 

How did I not see the emotional abuse

And reconcilling that factor is so much more pressing to me than Any reconciliation with Charles 

Sometimes I miss the days of rose glasses 

But I suppose I just miss different shades of those lenses 

You know what I’m not missing though myself.. I deal with me so much more than I ever wanted now and it’s refreshing…

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3 thoughts on “Being honest 

  1. Glad you talked hon. Getting it out there is good. Good for you to verbalise how you feel. I miss that rose-tinted view too, but better to be living in truth than believing a lie. Much love. X

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